One scarcely knows where to begin to elucidate the tragic story of Simon Birch, but suffice it to say that Simon is a 12-year-old dwarf imbued with an astonishing sense of morality and heroism that affects everyone around him. The Triumph of the Kid has never been more overwrought, and Simon Birch just takes movies like Radio Flyer, The Mighty, and Unstrung Heroes and ratchets them out to the hilt. Pithy and over-emotional, watch little Simon (Ian Michael Smith) wreck the school play, try to play baseball, ogle girls' chests, and save the entire student body from drowning in an icy river. Then go vomit. Jim Carrey makes a (poor) cameo. Also note that the film is based on author John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany. Irving also wrote the book responsible for that ungodly piece of junk The Cider House Rules.