Rollercoaster Movie Review

At a certain unnamed Six Flags, somewhere in the country, I once had a girlfriend. She worked at the giant teepee at Frontier Land. When we first met, we ended up talking for something close to four hours, during which time the subject of the conversation inevitably turned to work, and she explained a certain ritual called the Swimsuit Relay. The Swimsuit Relay takes place in the diving pool, and occurs as part of a series of pre-park-opening events during the last days of the season.

Recalling the rules from memory, each team has 20 people on it, 10 of each sex. There is one female's one-piece to a team. It starts on one girl, who swims to the opposite side, places it on a boy, who then swims back and places the suit on the next girl.

Despite watching the painfully long, drawn out, and over plotted Rollercoaster, that is and probably always will be the most interesting story I have ever heard/witnessed (which one it is happens to be my little secret) at an amusement park.

Rollercoaster is a story of five troubled Vancouver teens who head to an abandoned amusement park to smoke dope and fulfill a suicide pact... so that the love between Chloe (Crystal Bubble) and Darrin (Kett Turton) is remembered for all time as part of a new wave of suicide urban-legends. Along for the ride are the homophobic homosexual (Brendan Fletcher), the wannabe animator (Brent Glenen), and the loser just along for the ride (Sean Amsing). Oh, yeah, and there happens to be a pedophile watching over the park (David Lovgren).

Rollercoaster is a classic case of a movie with too much plot and too little tension (psychological or otherwise). The movie meanders its way through 90 minutes, during which time I slotted the next two days worth of movies to see at the Cleveland International Film Festival, balanced my checkbook, checked my watch at least three dozen times, finished the worst Lo Mein in the world, and drafted this review to boot. Needless to say, this film was absolutely boring. The cast is unable to draw the viewer in, and the plot is so terrible that you wish gun-wielding terrorists would take over the park just to make the film get better.

Avoid at all costs.

Rollercoaster. Of love.


Comments

Rollercoaster Rating

" Terrible "

Rating: R, 1999

Advertisement

Editors Recommendations

First Pictures Of Disney’s ‘Into The Woods’ Starring Anna Kendrick and Johnny Depp

Have you ever wondered what happened to Cinderella, Rapunzel and...

First Pictures Of Disney’s ‘Into The Woods’ Starring Anna Kendrick and Johnny Depp

Win Tickets For V Festival 2014 in Chelmsford!

V Festival is getting ever nearer and tickets are quickly selling out, but you can skip that pricey entrance fee by entering our new competition...

Win Tickets For V Festival 2014 in Chelmsford!

Ariana, Zooey, J-Lo, Miley! When Actresses Become Songstresses

Jenny Lewis isn't the only former actress to find musical success.

Ariana, Zooey, J-Lo, Miley! When Actresses Become Songstresses

Critics Say 'Guardians Of The Galaxy' Is Great, But Does Anyone Disagree?

The new Marvel movie Guardians of the Galaxy has been praised to the...

Critics Say 'Guardians Of The Galaxy' Is Great, But Does Anyone Disagree?

What Do We Know About Christopher Nolan's Interstellar?

Christopher Nolan and Matthew McConaughey made a surprise visit to the San Diego Comic-Con last...

What Do We Know About Christopher Nolan's Interstellar?
Advertisement

Jennifer Lawrence Is Hollywood's Darling - How Has She Done It?

A teaser trailer for Jennifer Lawrence’s new film, The Hunger Games...

Jennifer Lawrence Is Hollywood's Darling - How Has She Done It?

NBC News Host Brian Williams Pulls Ultimate Embarrassing Dad Trick Announcing Allison Williams' "Peter Pan" Casting

NBC’s production of Peter Pan has found its lead in Girls star Allison Williams...

NBC News Host Brian Williams Pulls Ultimate Embarrassing Dad Trick Announcing Allison Williams'

The Spongebob Squarepants Movie: Sponge Out Of Water 3D

When a pirate gets his hands on a long lost magic book in which anything he writes comes true, he...

The Spongebob Squarepants Movie: Sponge Out Of Water 3d Trailer


More recommendations

Advertisement