Robocop 3 Movie Review

As a franchise, there are several signs that you should stop making the movies, and top on the list of signs that the horse is dead is this: Nobody but the bit players who can’t get work elsewhere come back for the next sequel.

Such is the case with RoboCop 3, which replaces its title character (Peter Weller) with Robert John Burke and cameos every other bit player from each part of the RoboCop franchise.

I guess dumb utopian anti-corporate chic loses its charm after kids start buying millions of dollars of RoboCop toys.

RoboCop 3 plays all the over-the-top cards seen in RoboCop 2. Once again, the mighty corporation is attempting to destroy life in America (although now the mighty corporation has been bought out by the Japanese). And once again, the corporation is attempting to set up a corporate utopia in Detroit (like that will ever happen).

This time, added into the mix is a shock troop of quasi-cops called “The Rehabs,” who are charged with clearing out the ghetto of Old Detroit to make way for the new utopia. There are also sword-wielding quasi-RoboCops made in Japan, just to throw into the mix. (Also of note: Tons of actors appear who would later go on to relative stardom, from Jeff Garlin to Stephen Root to Jill Hennessey.)

Put plainly, this movie is a mess. It has a tenth of the plot of the also-horrible RoboCop 2. Its idea of good “finishing” line is “Don’t count on it, chum.” Seriously, the Teletubbies have better dialogue than this film. The acting and directing are about as good as the writing.

Even past the vast array of technical reasons to hate RoboCop 3, there is the big one:

It’s just stupid.

RoboCop 3 is so bad of a movie that, even significantly inebriated, there’s almost no way to avoid being bored to tears. It has the flow of a flatulent flubber and the charm of a cockatrice. This is a movie that could not be fun if you were getting paid several thousand dollars to enjoy it. Put in plain English: RoboCop 3 just sucks.

The new RoboCop box set offers all three films with copious extras. The original is an extended version of the film (you won't notice any extra scenes), plus a commentary track, deleted scenes, and several making of featurettes. The sequels get less attention (and rightly so), but it's still an awfully nice collection of DVDs, packaged in a nifty multi-folded box. I'd buy that for a dollar!