Random Hearts Movie Review

What does Hollywood have against us? Year in and year out, we fork over millions and millions of dollars to see movies that are consistently bad. Sure, a few of them are good and more than a few of them are enjoyable, but most of the movies are bad. Yet we still pay. And still they proceed to torture us with movies like Random Hearts.

Torture is the correct term for such a movie, one that spends two hours and twenty minutes evoking boredom, yawns, and snores from the audience. There is no kinder way to put it. However, I could be completely honest and say that this is perhaps the worst two and a half hours I have spent in a movie theatre all year... and I've seen a lot of really bad movies.

Random Hearts is the long, drawn out, unbearably slow story of Dutch Van Der Brock (Ford) and Kay Chandler (Thomas), an IAD Sergeant and a congresswoman. Both of their spouses are cheating on them when the adulterer's plane crashes in the Chesapeake Bay. This is twenty minutes into the movie. The next two hours are spent in the midst of a frizzled romance between the two.

Besides this, several subplots including Kay Chandler's running against a religious fanatic and Dutch's attempts to secure charges on a corrupt cop waste time during this film.

I try to be nice. I try to say a few good words about every movie, if only in the spirit of optimism. But Random Hearts does not lend itself to this chivalry. Instead, Random Hearts bores the audience. Here are some examples of how:

The entire movie is dialogue-based and the dialogue is terrible. The style lends itself towards a slow pace (slow conversation, slow plot, slow pans, slow transitions). Harrison Ford proves that he has lost whatever acting talent he ever had, and Kristin Scott Thomas has made a major fall from grace since her 1996 Oscar Nomination for The English Patient.

The flaw in this movie lies in so many places. In the acting it would be in providing a British actress with an American role. Kristin Scott Thomas handles the part so badly that she cannot even lose the accent, let alone adopt the body language of an American. She seems too reserved, too proper. Add to this Charles Dutton (normally an interesting character actor) in a bit part that just annoys, and you have what amounts to a terrible ensemble cast.

I cannot say something kind about this movie. There is nothing kind to say. What I can do is simply be nice enough to it to not go on... because I could sit here insulting this film for hours.

Thomas eulogizes her dead film.


Random Hearts Rating

" Unbearable "

Rating: R, 1999


More Harrison Ford

Anthony Daniels Assures Fans C-3PO Will Not be CGI In ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’

Anthony Daniels, the actor who has appeared as C-3PO in all six Star Wars films, has confirmed that no CGI will be used for his...

'Game of Thrones' Actor Cast in 'Star Wars: Episode VII''

The actor Miltos Yerolemou, the best known for playing swordsman Syrio Forel in HBO's 'Game of Thrones' series, has joined the cast of Disney's 'Star...

Ridley Scott Will Make 'Blade Runner 2' after 'The Martian'

Ridley Scott has revealed that the script for Blade Runner 2 is finished and that Harrison Ford is ready to reprise his role as Deckard....

Star Wars Rumour Round Up: Villains, Robot Hands, Han Solo's Wardrobe

J.J Abrams is known for keeping details of his projects top secret for as long as possible, and alongside LucasFilm, details about the new Star...


The Expendables 3 Movie Review

Striking a tone somewhere between the po-faced original and the silly Part 2, this rampaging action nonsense is badly overcrowded and chaotic, but there's plenty...

'Star Wars: Episode VII' Getting Back On Track This Month

Star Wars Episode VII is set to resume filming later on this month following Harrison Ford’s injury on set back in June. The legendary star...

'Star Wars: Episode VII' Will Resume Filming Later This Month As Harris Ford Makes Full Recovery

Director J.J. Abrams can now breathe a sigh of relief as 'Star Wars: Episode VII' is set to resume filming later this month after a...

'Star Wars: Episode VII' Back On Track After Harrison Ford's Injury

Star Wars: Episode VII is due to resume filming this month following a brief hiatus to allow Harrison Ford to recover from the leg injury...