Mango Kiss Movie Review

Some screenwriting lessons for aspiring filmmakers:

- If you want your film to be a cautionary tale, don't offer up a voice over at the beginning that says "This is a cautionary tale." We should be able to figure that out on our own without you telling us.

- Speaking of which, try to trim the voice over down a bit, will ya?

- Oh, and if you say your movie is a cautionary tale, it ought to be one, not just a lame romantic comedy about crazy lesbians. If the "caution" in your movie is that affairs are bad, you need to look for another message to warn us about.

- Don't create awful, hateful main characters. Other people in the movie are annoyed by the duo, but the annoyed types are portrayed as provincial. Sadly, when our heroines are galavanting in a store and make general nuisances of themselves, we identify with the annoyed.

- Using fake tattoos as title cards: Clever!

Lesson aside, Mango Kiss is a lesbian feature with questionable acting, a threadbare story (girls move to San Francisco; in between cityscape montages they have a rocky relationship and hang out with a half-dozen lesbian stereotypes), and so-so dialogue. Padded out to 88 frequently grueling minutes, it's tough to find much to care about here.

Aka Mango Me.

Avocado me.