Halloween: Resurrection Movie Review

About halfway through Halloween: Resurrection my cell phone fell out of my pocket and onto the theater floor. The five seconds I spent blindly groping the sticky surface before deciding to resume my search later offered more excitement and thrills than the entire movie.

The eighth installment of the horror series (and the ending practically announces that yet another is coming), has masked serial killer Michael Myers wreaking more havoc. After disposing of his sister (Jamie Lee Curtis in a pointless, sad cameo) he returns to his childhood home, where six college students are hunting for clues as part of a live Halloween webcast. However, no one knows that Michael still lives there. I guess no one bothered to do a background check.

The kids, as told by organizer Busta Rhymes (I'm not making this up), are to "explore... evil in its purest form." There doesn't appear to be a point to the mission, except only to put the students (which include Sean Patrick Thomas and Thomas Ian Nicholas) in the slashing distance of Michael Myers and to imitate The Blair Witch Project's shaky camerawork.

Aside from lacking plot smarts, Larry Brand and Sam Hood's script has practically no suspense built into it. Most of the students are not physically or mentally proficient to take on Myers, so we know the end to every confrontation. And by revealing that Myers is still alive in the first five minutes of the movie, it kills all potential suspense, especially when Rhymes dons a Myers' mask to scare the kids and generate Internet buzz.

The movie is strictly a hunt and slash affair, which I suppose might suit fans who have sat through each entry. Even at such a basic level of entertainment, the filmmakers fail. Take a look at the Myers character. Here's a guy who can run through doors with nary a scratch and can absorb an inhuman amount of punishment, yet Rhymes kicks Myers' ass with a series of karate kicks. Myers kills just anybody in his path, but yet when he runs into Rhymes (in the Myers mask) he walks away. I am not even going into the galling number of plot conveniences and stretches; the Internet and my sanity can only absorb so much.

Am I missing something? I admit, I haven't watched all of the previous movies, but based on what I've seen I can't imagine why anyone else would. Halloween: Resurrection isn't lovably awful enough to merit camp appeal, the Michael Myers character is a bland murder machine, and when the killing scenes aren't unimaginative they're almost uncomfortably gruesome. At least with Halloween: H20, you could make the case that you were eying some up-and-coming stars (Josh Hartnett, Michelle Williams). Reading the opening credits to Halloween: Resurrection is like watching one of those old, horrible Up All Night movies on the USA network: Busta Rhymes! Tyra Banks! Kevin from American Pie! One of the cheerleaders from Bring It On (not Eliza Dushku or Kirsten Dunst)!

Somebody stop him before he kills again.

The DVD inexplicably trots out as many extras as I've seen for a feature film. Three alternate endings, six deleted scenes, and a feature commentary should make both of your Halloween connossieurs satisfied. Various other featurettes buttress the film... but none of it can keep Myers dead. Groan.

Tired and busted.


Comments

Halloween: Resurrection Rating

" Unbearable "

Rating: R, 2002

Editors Recommendations

Could Meg Ryan Re-Launch Career With 'How I Met Your Mother' Spin-off?

Meg Ryan could be headed for a career revival with her latest gig – narrating the...

Could Meg Ryan Re-Launch Career With 'How I Met Your Mother' Spin-off?

It's That Time Of Year Again! New Orleans Jazz Festival Returns With Another Two Weekends Of Music Mythology

It's that time of year again where New Orleans go all out to prove they are one...

It's That Time Of Year Again! New Orleans Jazz Festival Returns With Another Two Weekends Of Music Mythology

Cameron Diaz Has Felt "Betrayal" When Cheated On In The Past

Cameron Diaz is considered one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood today...

Cameron Diaz Has Felt

Banksy Breaks Silence to Condemn 'Stealing Banksy' Exhibition

After weeks of shadowy new works, Bristolian street artist Banksy has broken his...

Banksy Breaks Silence to Condemn 'Stealing Banksy' Exhibition

'Lost' Collection of Andy Warhol Paintings Found on Amiga Floppy Disks

Art historians have recovered a 'lost' collection of Andy Warhol paintings on 30-year-old Amiga...

'Lost' Collection of Andy Warhol Paintings Found on Amiga Floppy Disks

Most Offensive? Avril Lavigne's 'Hello Kitty' or Alison Gold's 'Chinese Food'?

Avril Lavigne has fought back against the critics who have labelled her music video...

Most Offensive? Avril Lavigne's 'Hello Kitty' or Alison Gold's 'Chinese Food'?

Missing 'Orange Is The New Black'? Here's The Season 2 Preview

It’s almost Orange Is The New Black time and Netflix is celebrating by releasing...

Missing 'Orange Is The New Black'? Here's The Season 2 Preview

After Mercury Snub, London Grammar Score Ivor Novello Nomination

Last year, the bookies had London Grammar as the 6/4 massive favourites to win...

After Mercury Snub, London Grammar Score Ivor Novello Nomination

Jodie Foster Is Now A Married Woman! Wait, When Did That Happen?

Congratulations to Jodie Foster and Alexandra Hedison, who just tied the knot this week!...

Jodie Foster Is Now A Married Woman! Wait, When Did That Happen?


More recommendations