First Blood Movie Review

Before single-handedly taking on the Vietnamese army in a handful of dreadful sequels, John Rambo was a tormented Green Beret who only wanted a little something to eat. First Blood, which introduced Rambo to an audience hungry for a "real American hero," reminds me of a time when Sylvester Stallone could be taken seriously as an actor. Remember, he'd taken home an Academy Award for Rocky a few years earlier (not for acting, but it was a feather in his cap nevertheless).

This lean, mean fighting machine strolls down the street, unassuming and weary in his army jacket, having just found out that another of his veteran friends who made it through the 'Nam died shortly after coming home. Guy just wants to brood for a little while. Cut him some slack. A few minutes later, our unlucky hero gets hassled by a mean-spirited small town sheriff (the inimitable Brian Dennehy) who advises him to take a bath and clean himself up. What would you do if a smug local yokel hiding behind a badge told you to get out of town when you didn't even do anything? You'd pull a Rambo and get arrested for... for... for walking back into town. "Okay, now you're resisting arrest!" the sheriff gloats.

It's not Crime and Punishment by a long shot, but Rambo is as sympathetic as a whipped dog. Like man's best friend, he shows a stubborn resolve until the day he bites.

The movie's just getting over the hump when he beats the hell out of a room full of cops, and when they track him through the woods he threatens, "Don't push it. Don't push it, or I'll give you a war you won't believe."

But Stallone doesn't have to talk very much, playing up his image as a killjoy Marlon Brando. Dennehy makes for a formidable enemy -- not in the best physical shape, it's Dennehy's arrogance that makes him Rambo's best villain ever.

The rest of First Blood alternates between explosive comic book and long-winded "Rambo's coming to get you and he's the best!" dialogue for Richard Crenna, playing Rambo's trainer, Colonel Sam Trautman. Gosh, I hated those scenes. I've never been a big fan of Col. Trautman, or Crenna, who basically exists to stand around and tell us what we already know. Who needs the colonel reminding us that Rambo's an incredible killing machine when we've just seen him take out an entire squad of cops with guns, knives and his bare hands!

The last half hour runs like the well-oiled machine it is, to the point where it almost feels credible having Rambo out-maneuver 200 weekend warriors of the National Guard. Call it macho crap. Call it mindless escapism. Call it Stallone's grand posturing. In fact, call it all of the above.

It almost goes to pieces, though, in the final five minutes where (God knows why) Stallone launches into an incomprehensible tirade about Vietnam protestors, and what is First Blood but the opportunity for veterans and laymen to indulge in payback fantasy against The Man? But there Stallone goes, in earnest, running roughshod over an otherwise compelling piece of work: "Back dere I could mumble mumble guns...mumble mumble tank! Mumble mumble protest me, huh? Mumble mumble don't know mumble protest about? How mumble mumble protest me? I can't mumble mumble wash mumble cars mumble tank mumble guns!!! Aaaargh! Mummmmmblllleee! Aaaargh!!!"

Rambo enthusiasts will want to run -- don't walk -- to pick up the new four-disc DVD set of the three Rambo movies (plus a disc full of extras). Admittedly, this isn't The Godfather collection, but each film has been carefully restored and enhanced with Dolby Digital and DTS audio, as well as a commentary track. Various documentaries pepper the movie discs and of course the extras disc, offering close to a full 24 hours of entertainment. And in pure Rambo style, it's all wrapped up in an impressive book-like package and bound in a metal case. As John Rambo himself might say: "Auuugggggrrhh!"