Everyone's Hero Movie Review

Everyone's Hero

Cast & Crew

Director : Christopher Reeve

Producer : Igor Khait, Ron Tippe

Screenwriter : Robert Kurtz, Jeff Hand

Starring Rob Reiner, William H Macy, Whoopi Goldberg, Jake T. Austin, Robert Wagner, Forest Whitaker, Raven-symone, Dana Reeve, Mandy Patinkin, Joe Torre

As I’ve said before, I have one rule for reviewing a kids’ movie: Does it offer anything for adults who may be watching? Stale jokes, a soundtrack of songs that sounds like a combination of Creed’s greatest hits and a sack of sugar, and the vocal talents of Rob Reiner will make adults dread seeing Everyone’s Hero. And even though I pay taxes and have a pension plan, I’m fairly certain kids won’t have much fun either.

The animated feature focuses on Yankee Irving, a Depression-era kid who embarks on a trip from New York to Chicago to return Babe Ruth’s lucky bat and to clear his dad’s name. Following Yankee is a crooked pitcher (voiced with gleeful malice by William H. Macy) who wants the bat so his team can hold Babe hitless and win the World Series.

Directed in part by the late Christopher Reeve, Everyone’s Hero assumes kids know Ruth, so it doesn’t bother to explain his greatness, which would add screen time and substance and save a trip to the library. Instead, the writers rely on a smart-mouthed baseball and tart-tongued bat in a failed attempt to rouse a tired premise. The maneuver fails because, first, it’s more rewarding if the kid learns the lessons through human beings with experience, rather than from sporting goods spouting clichés and stupid one-liners. Second, it’s never clear why the bat and ball talk to Yankee. Is it like something out of the brilliant comic strip “Calvin & Hobbes,” but without the originality and insight? Is it a genie thing? Was dope readily available in the Bronx back in 1932?

Third, Reiner and Whoopi Goldberg’s voice work will not inspire anyone to buy plush toys. As Babe’s beloved bat Darlin’, Goldberg is OK, a triumph for her. Reiner, meanwhile, delivers his lines like an aggressive salesman mixed with a hack vaudeville comic. He’s beyond awful. The other characters Yankee meet, including a tomboy and three happy-go-lucky bums, we’ve met many times before, and they appear just in time to impart inspirational advice to Yankee. With such unoriginal, lifeless characters, no wonder the voice work here is so flat; no wonder why it’s hard to muster any enthusiasm for 86 minutes.

As for the finale, I will only say that it doesn’t align with childhood fantasy, despite how ridiculous it is. When I was young, dreaming of patrolling third base for the New York Mets, I dreamt of playing at (or above) the skill level of my heroes. Those dreams never involved me crushing a game-winning home run off of a tee, or having every player on the opposition bobble the ball so I could fulfill my glory. I wasn’t interested in winning on a compromise. That the people behind Everyone’s Hero think kids would prefer an obnoxious talking baseball to that basic childhood fantasy shows just how misguided and poorly executed this movie is.

Stop me before I kill again.

Write for us

Comments

Rob Reiner Newsletter

Subscribe to this news alert service to receive news and reviews on Rob Reiner

Unsubscribe

Films by Artist: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Everyone's Hero Rating

" Terrible "

Rating: G, 2006

Rob Reiner Photos

Rob Reiner picture 3568858
Rob Reiner Bruce Cohen,Dustin Lance Black picture 3523012
Rob Reiner picture 3523013

Rob Reiner Film Reviews


More Rob Reiner Movies

Breaking News: Jennifer Hudson Leads Grammy Tributes To WhitneySusan Sarandon's Spanish Steps ConceptionRhys Ifans Accused Of AssaultWhitney Houston 'Died In The Bath' Bobbi Kristina Brown Treated For AnxietyHudgens Hated Acting Underwater In Journey 2Elizabeth Mcgovern Shocked To Learn Grandfather May Have Inspired Indiana JonesLost Star De Ravin Had Olympics Dreams As A Child GymnastSimon Cowell Offers Private Plane For Tv Crew DadIrish Actor David Kelly DiesSnoop & Mack 10 Record Music For Porn FilmAdele Worked At A Record Store After Grammy's WinHeather Mills Takes Gold In Austria Ski RaceDave Grohl Lectures Grammy Crowd About Music From The HeartAdele Hoping For New Inspiration With New LoveJames Morrison Falls Ill, Postpones GigsKelly Price: 'Whitney Was Healthy And Happy At Last Performance'Beyonce: 'Houston Was The Ultimate Legend'Brown: 'We Will Get Through Houston's Death As A Family'Whitney Houston Autopsy Reports CompletedWinehouse Family 'So Proud' Of Amy's GrammyAdele And Foo Fighters Rule The GrammysMichael Caine's Dark Knight Tears Chris O'dowd Not Expecting Bridesmaids Return Denzel Washington Rarely Likes ScriptsElton John Offering Sheeran Us Advice Woody Harrelson's Religious RolePosthumous Award For Amy Winehouse At The 2012 GrammysAdele And Foo Fighters Clean Up At The 2012 Grammy AwardsAdele And Foo Fighters Rule The GrammysJennifer Hudson Stuns Crowd With Whitney Houston TributeStanding Ovation For Adele At The 2012 Grammy AwardsDiana Ross Pays Tribute To Whitney HoustonFoo Fighters Awarded As The Grammys Start To SparkleBobby Brown Cancels Tour To Comfort DaughterBobbi Kristina Brown Released From Hospital After Panic AttackGrammys Begin With A Prayer For Whitney HoustonHeavy Atmosphere At The Grammys In The Wake Of Whitney Houston DeathGrammys Red Carpets Update 'Nicki Minaj Brings The Pope'Skrillex Bags Three Grammys And CountingIts Two Grammy Awards For Country Star Taylor Swift So FarThe Artist Dominates Bafta Awards The Artist A Big Winner At Britain's BaftasHistoric Movies A Time Bomb?Jolie Comes Out Fighting At Berlin News ConferenceStudios Set A February RecordThe Bbc Falls Victim To ScandalMurdoch Hit By New ScandalKiera Knightley Admits To Having Body InsecuritiesGlen Campbell Announces Farwell Tour, Talks AlzheimersWhitney Houston Tributes At Pre Grammy Gala And At Grammys AwardsBobby Brown Sobs On Stage After Whitney Houston DeathWhitney Houston's Body Is Moved From Beverly Hills Hotel To MorgueWhitney Houston Was Happy Days Before Her DeathWhitney Houston Dead: 'Could Have Drowned' ReportWhitney Houston Dead 2012: But How Did She Die?Shakira Awarded Prestigious French Government HonourColeen Rooney's Blackmailers Jailed For 'Despicable' Act