Eastside Movie Review

Another Saved by the Bell alumnus attempts to shed the goody-goody image and make it in the big bad world of movies, as Mario López hits the Eastside (of L.A., natch) in the hopes of rescuing a community center from the hands of his employer, an evil crime boss (Efrain Figueroa).

Yes, the movies have been so good to Elizabeth Berkley already that we expect her to pop up in a cameo. Alas, it's not to be. The story goes: López is released from jail on his 21st birthday, whereupon he promptly gets a job as a heavy for Figueroa's bad guy. There's a love story, which -- horror of horrors -- takes us for a loop when we find out the girl he's fallen for is the daughter of a community center owner -- a guy who López is supposed to bully out of his property!

What's a young ex-con to do? Our man López must decide whether money or principles are more important -- even if it costs him his life!

Shudder. This sad imitation of Stand and Deliver is so laughable it barely merits the time it will take to write this review. The acting, the direction, and the script are all so atrocious it's a miracle anyone rented the crew a camera to work with. Seriously, we're talking about dialogue like (and this is a direct quote), "I fuckin' hate that fuckin' fuck!" And ladies and gentlemen, it just gets worse from there.

The only thing more laughable than the movie itself is the fact that on the DVD release, they actually put a commentary track on it. The only thing more laughable than that has to be the content of the commentary track, where the director and stars wax about how much they love the film and how important it is. Sure, I'll throw you half a star for your community-friendly message, but that's all you get. No stars for you!

Saved by the bat.