Boat Trip Movie Review

Directors, screenwriters, and everyone else involved in making a movie have a singular task: make an audience believe in the world onscreen. I'll forgive a lot in a movie, if the characters and their conflicts hold my attention. Boat Trip never makes the effort to establish anything original. The filmmakers are selling you a used world at new world prices. In fact, their opinion of the audience's intelligence is borderline galling.

The plot is a shameless rip off of Some Like It Hot, modified for the Britney generation. Desperate for some female loving, two single guys (Cuba Gooding Jr. and Horatio Sanz) decide to go on a singles cruise. However, thanks to a malicious travel agent (Will Ferrell, smartly appearing unbilled) the two dolts unwillingly wind up on a gay cruise.

Gooding and Sanz decide to leave at the first opportunity, until Gooding meets the ship's luscious dance instructor (Roselyn Sanchez). Gooding, drunk and lonely, immediately falls in love with Sanchez and convinces Sanz to portray his life partner so he can stay close to her. Meanwhile, the Sanz character falls for a member of the "Swedish suntanning team" (Victoria Silvstedt) and even questions his own sexuality.

I don't even want to go into how the Swedish beauties got onto the boat. I don't have enough alcohol on hand.

Within the plot are a string of jokes and characters that will have GLAAD members rummaging for their cell phones. You want a lisping, gay Hispanic? Well, you got him. Can't get enough of seeing homosexuals as prancing, lecherous ass bandits? You're in luck. Jokes on Liza Minelli and "I Will Survive"? All here. Somewhat grave "gays are OK" speech to justify every thoughtless, offensive joke? Yep.

Screenwriters William Bigelow and Mort Nathan (who also directed) either telegraph their jokes or put together scenes without a single shred of thought. It's all about generating empty laughs. Take the scene when Sanz goes into Silvstedt's bedroom for a pre-arranged tryst, and instead orally pleasures Silvstedt's butch coach (Lin Shaye, probably hoping the Farrelly Brothers haven't lost her number).

The scene makes no sense, because why Sanz should be so sneaky? He knows Silvestadt's going to be there, waiting for him. As soon as he saw the lights out in the room, he should have suspected something. Or, if memory serves, he could have knocked on her door, thus clearing any problems. We get this lame bit from Nathan, one of the guys who wrote the hilarious Kingpin?

There are plenty of other stupid setups like that, including the entire premise. In the movie's opening when Gooding proposes to (and later vomits on) his girlfriend (Vivica A. Fox) on a hot-air balloon, he mentions that he gets motion sickness. If that's the case, then why is he on a cruise? If Nathan and Bigelow showed any respect for the audience, Gooding would have spent the entire movie throwing up.

Just like I was.

Check out the unrated Boat Trip DVD for some scandalous extras, some of which greet you right from the second you pop in the disc: topless Playmate sunbathers under the menus of the film. Three minutes of footage are edited back into the film, plus you get a trivia track, deleted scenes, bloopers, and more. Anything to move some discs, huh?

All aboard the New Titanic.


Comments

Boat Trip Rating

" Unbearable "

Rating: R, 2003

Advertisement

Editors Recommendations

5 Seconds Of Summer Earn Record Breaking Debut At No.1 On Billboard 200

Australian pop band 5 Seconds of Summer have certainly introduced themselves...

5 Seconds Of Summer Earn Record Breaking Debut At No.1 On Billboard 200

Iggy Azalea To Make Film Debut In 'Fast & Furious 7,' Vin Diesel Reveals

One of hip-hop's most popular female artists, Iggy Azalea, is...

Iggy Azalea To Make Film Debut In 'Fast & Furious 7,' Vin Diesel Reveals

Bleachers' 'Strange Desire' - The Five Best Songs

New music from indie-pop superstars Fun. is definitely in the works, considering the multi-platinum band just...

Bleachers' 'Strange Desire' - The Five Best Songs

First Impression - Karen O Premieres First Song From Solo Album

Not many artists have their break-out year after more than a decade...

First Impression - Karen O Premieres First Song From Solo Album

"The Big Bang Theory" Is Hitting Production Delays Over Big Pay Demands From Stars

Season 8 of The Big Bang Theory is mercifully being delayed over...

Lady Gaga & Tony Bennett - Anything Goes

Lady Gaga unveils a studio video of her collaborative new single with Tony Bennett entitled 'Anything Goes'...

Lady Gaga - Anything Goes Video
Advertisement

The Celebrities That South Park Loves To Hate

Game of Thrones is one of the most popular TV series on the box at the moment but that hasn’t...

The Celebrities That South Park Loves To Hate

Ray J - Never Shoulda Did That Video

Ray J expresses remorse over his highly publicized sex tape back in 2007 with his self-directed music...

Ray J - Never Shoulda Did That Video

'Girls' Actress Allison Williams Lands Role Of 'Peter Pan' In NBC's Live Stage Production

NBC's forthcoming live stage production of 'Peter Pan' has just cast...

 'Girls' Actress Allison Williams Lands Role Of 'Peter Pan' In NBC's Live Stage Production


More recommendations

Advertisement