Blade: Trinity Movie Review

Look up trinity in the dictionary and it will tell you that it's the union of three closely related members. That's a clever guise for this, the third movie about the half-human, half-vampire Marvel comic book hero named Blade. Yet, the film that's lurking under this misnomer is remarkably dissimilar to the original spectacle of the previous two films. This unimaginative mess isn't worthy of such a witty title -- just call it Blade III.

David S. Goyer, who wrote the first two Blade films, not only pens this edition, but now takes the reins as its director. At the controls, Goyer is like a kid out of control in a candy store. With all of the eye-popping cinematic sweets at his fingertips, Goyer samples each piece, but can never settle on a specific style that's cohesive and complementary to the action. The final product resembles what you might expect from a teenager: a quick-paced arcade game set to an obnoxiously loud, mind-numbing metal, hip-hop, and techno score.

The plot is equally raw and underdeveloped. After Blade (Wesley Snipes) is set-up by vampire diva Danica (Parker Posey) to kill a human, he finds himself the target of the FBI. In a fiery showdown with the Feds, Blade is captured. While in custody, Blade is poked and prodded by doctors and agents who deny the existence of vampires and insist Blade's just a sociopath. Not surprisingly, these same "officials" are actually vampires themselves!

Blade's in desperate need of a lifeline, and he gets one from the Nightstalkers, a rogue group of expertly trained vampire hunters led by Whistler's long lost daughter Abigail (Jessica Biel), and her partner Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds). They rescue the unappreciative Blade, and inform him that the vampires have resurrected the original vampire, Dracula. Now referred to as Drake, Dracula (Dominic Purcell) is set to use his uncanny ability to change forms and exist in the daylight to hunt down Blade. Unbeknownst to the vampires, the Nightstalkers are prepared to fight back with a virus aimed at wiping out the entire vampire race.

Even for diehard fans of the comic series or the first two movies, it's difficult to imagine this film satisfying for anyone. Trinity tries to be inventive by introducing new vampire hybrids (in a Rottweiler and a Pomeranian), brave new allies, and intricate new weapons. Yet, much of this is severely overshadowed by dialogue that is corny, irrelevant, and laughably bad. Numerous combat sequences end before we even see them begin (thanks to the fast-paced editing), while those that linger tend to run exhaustively long. The plug should have been pulled on this video game long ago.

The two-disc DVD features a mound of extras. Ten extra minutes are incorporated into the unrated version of the film, two commentary tracks, an amusing alternate ending, gag reel, and a couple of featurettes. Blade fans will kill for it.

Preparing for Blade: Quaternity.

Comments

pink4u's picture

pink4u

You do not know a good action movie. I thought it was great. get your head out of your butt and enjoy as many Blades (with Ryan Reynolds) as you can. Keep it up Wesley!!!!!!

8 years 7 months ago
Report
View Comments

Blade: Trinity Rating

" Unbearable "

Rating: R, 2004

Advertisement

More Wesley Snipes

Uneventful Box Office Maintains Summer Momentum

Not much to report from the box office after this week – despite all its manpower, Expendables 3 just couldn’t outgun previous chart toppers Teenage...

The Expendables 3 Movie Review

Striking a tone somewhere between the po-faced original and the silly Part 2, this rampaging action nonsense is badly overcrowded and chaotic, but there's plenty...

The Expendables 3 Trailer

The cast of 'The Expendables 3' discuss the upcoming action film in a short featurette. Among them are Wesley Snipes, Harrison Ford, Glen Powell, Sylvester...

The Expendables 3 Trailer

Barney Ross is the fearless leader of elite New Orleans mercenary team The Expendables who are still as active and formidable as ever despite the...

Advertisement

The Expendables 3 Trailer

A formidable group of New Orleans mercenaries led by the no-nonsense Barney Ross are starting to feel less invincible than they used to. Their latest...

Did 'Thor 2' Make Our Top 10 Best Marvel Movies?

With the release of Thor: The Dark World in the U.S. this week, we thought we'd take a look back into Marvel's movie history and...

Lauryn Hill Begins Three Month Jail Term: Five Stars With Tax Problems

Lauryn Hill, the Grammy-winners singer whose only solo album The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill remains a classic of its generation, has begun a three month...

Stallone Names Patrick Hughes As The Director For "The Expendables 3"

Australian director Patrick Hughes has been named by Sylvester Stallone to helm his newest writing endeavor, The Expendables 3. Nothing is official just yet though,...

Advertisement