Aquamarine Movie Review

I wouldn't normally even try to review a teenybopper movie like Aquamarine, but I'm doing so for two reasons. First, it's in the bottom 100 of all movies, according to the silly and notoriously irrelevant "weighted average" of user ratings at the IMDb. Second, it's the first movie my three-year-old daughter sat through all the way without losing interest. We're talking about a kid who begs to wear a Cinderella dress when she gets home from school, but has yet to sit still through any Disney movie. That's something.

Anyhoo, Aquamarine is a mermaid movie, or rather, "the mermaid movie," as my daughter now calls it, about two best friends (Julia's niece Emma Roberts and teen singer JoJo) who find a lovely (and equally hormonally teenaged) mermaid washed into the oceanside pool at the motel run by Claire's (Roberts) family. With Hailey (JoJo), they teach the newly-legged Aquamarine (Sara Paxton) about land-based life, while she teaches the gawky girls how to use starfish as earrings. But Aqua's on a quest. In keeping with all mermaid movies, she's looking for love. And she figures the first guy she sees, a hunky lifeguard, will be it.

What follows is a blend of romantic comedy and teen histrionics, with a little mermaid magic thrown in. Apparently that's the perfect formula for this kind of movie, capable of keeping little girls in utter thrall, even if they don't much care about boys yet.

As for the critical eye, both JoJo and Paxton do fine work, though Roberts is a bit of a dud here. The script is padded with stolen plot points and juvenile dialogue, but if you aren't expecting much, Aquamarine isn't an utterly awful way to spend an afternoon. Assuming, of course you've got kids you're watching the movie with. Sicko.

DVD extras include deleted scenes, audition footage, featurettes, and commentaries.

Forgot to brush her teeth.