8 Mile Movie Review

What up, dawg? Rolled wit my boys to the 8 Mile screening to see my homey Eminem’s new movie. Man, that shiznit was off da hook. At first, I was worried that Eminem might sell out, 'cuz I seen him everywhere talkin’ about this movie, man. He showed the love on MTV’s Movie House, and was on the cover of my father’s Entertainment Weekly wearin’ boxing gloves. But no worries, this ain't no Glitter II. Em kept his cool, and his new movie was straight dope.

Word.

The movie starts with a freestyle rap battle, which is kind of like a boxing match held during a taping of Russell Simmons’ Def Comedy Jam. Eminem’s the challenger, but he backs down without rapping, and loses. It looks like he’s got stage fright, but I know better. Eminem’s not scared of nothing.

People call Eminem a lot of different things in this movie, like Rabbit or Bunny Rabbit, which is confusing. Then I remember he likes to take on new personalities all the time, like Slim Shady or Stan, the obsessed fan who tied up his pregnant wife, threw her in the trunk of a car and then drove off a bridge. That was awesome. So I guess Rabbit is just another identity for Em. Whatevs.

The middle of the movie covers Em’s life on 8 Mile, a nasty-ass stretch of run-down buildings in Detroit that separates the poor areas from the rich areas. Detroit’s cool because Kid Rock and Eminem are from there. When I save up enough money, I’m gonna go. Em hangs out with a cool crew who are funny and smart. They all tell Eminem, uh Rabbit, that he’s the best rapper in the world, and think that once he lets people know about his skills, he’ll be the hottest star in the world.

Until then, Em has to keep workin’ at a factory, which sux. That’s where he meets Alex, who’s played by that girl who says “I’ll never tell” in the trailer for that movie. Except here she wears trashy outfits and talks real dirty. She’s awesome, and she loves to have sex. Eminem does her in the back of the factory. Yo, I need to get me a woman like that. Bring her home to meet my mom.

Speaking of moms, Eminem’s old lady lives in a trailer park and dates a redneck who used to go to Eminem's, uh Rabbit’s, school. She’s played by the hot old lady from Bless the Child, which was so bad. In this movie, she swears in front of her youngest daughter and smokes and drinks constantly, which was cool. She’s waiting for her boyfriend’s settlement check to come in so she can pay the rent. She’s always tellin’ Em what to do, and sayin’ his life ain’t worth crap. “Biotch, look in the mirror sometime,” is what I’m sayin’ to her. She also talks with a Southern accent the entire time, which is stupid. She’s supposed to be from Detroit, which is in, like, New England or something.

Anyway, the movie ends with another battle, and Eminem finally gets to rap and show us why his friends think he’s so dope. One guy called Slim “Leave it to Beaver” and said he raps like Vanilla Ice. But Em gets to embarrass this posse of player-haters on stage, and everybody in the theater started clapping and yelling. It was the best.

On our way out, some old men with pens and notebooks in their hands were talkin’ outside the theater about 8 Mile. They said Eminem had a lot of screen presence, and talked about the director’s ability to capture the poverty of metro Detroit. One old dude kept talking about Eminem’s come-from-behind mentality, and another raved about the energy powering the inspired rap battles. They all kept repeating the name Tony Manero over and over, but I didn’t know who that was, so I left.

Whatever, dawg. I don’t care. I just need to get me to a pay phone so I can call up TRL and request “Lose Yourself” from the movie soundtrack. I’m gonna dedicate it to my girl Kelly in Paramus, because she’s so hot and she loves to listen to Eminem when we’re hangin’ out at the mall, yo. True dat.

And one for my homies.