Morgan York

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The Pacifier Review


OK
Just the fact that The Pacifier elicits chuckles means it's a huge success. The formula of a tough guy in a kiddie environment has been done before, notably with Hulk Hogan and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Let's just say neither actor typically puts those films on his resume. For The Pacifier's star, Vin Diesel, whose career has dimmed since 2002's XXX, he might want to ignore that precedent.

Diesel stars as top Marine Shane Wolfe, who's assigned to guard the family of a slain professor who was working on a secret government work project. Wolfe's job is to protect the man's five kids, while his widow (Faith Ford) travels overseas to settle affairs. What starts as a two-day trip soon becomes two weeks. And it has to seem longer to Wolfe when the family's nanny (Carol Kane) bolts, leaving him to also play surrogate dad to the unruly group of kids.

Continue reading: The Pacifier Review

Cheaper By The Dozen Review


Grim

Is anybody else getting tired of doofus dad comedies? I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure I've seen every emasculating joke there could be about stereotypically incompetent men being left alone with their kids and bungling everything while their wives are away. But here comes "Cheaper by the Dozen" anyway.

A loose remake of a 1950 laffer about a huge turn-of-the-century family headed by a stern efficiency expert, this version spends its opening voice-over explaining how Tom and Kate Baker (Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt) ended up with 12 kids in this age of easy contraception before it launches into a multiple helping of the same old themes of clueless parents and kiddie chaos.

Escaped pet frogs and butt-biting dogs abound even before the plot kicks in, seeing the family move from their rural Illinois homestead to the hustle and bustle of Chicago when Dad, now a college football coach (in an abandonment of the original's most essential ingredient), is offered his dream job heading the team at his Division One alma mater.

Continue reading: Cheaper By The Dozen Review

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