Missy Crider

Missy Crider

Missy Crider Quick Links

News Film RSS

The Sex Monster Review


Grim
Think 90 minutes of Dream On gone horribly awry. Mariel Hemingway as a sexy vixen with nascent bisexual tendencies? Maybe 20 years ago. Maybe. Never funny and insulting at times.

Continue reading: The Sex Monster Review

Gigli Review


Unbearable

In what may go down as the most embarrassing, imprudent attempt at cleverly sexy dialogue in the history of cinema, the gangland romantic comedy catastrophe entitled "Gigli" features Jennifer Lopez coming on to Ben Affleck by asking to be orally pleasured with the line, "Turkey time! Gobble, gobble."

But it's not the line all by itself that makes this moment the cherry atop this dung-heap sundae of a movie that is nothing but bad moments. It's also the fact that Lopez is playing a lesbian -- one of those gorgeous, male-fantasy movie lesbians who just needed the right man to straighten her out.

And it's also the idea that this "right man" for a straight-curious, street-smart sappho could be an angry, dimwitted, pompadoured mook and inept mob-enforcer, played by Affleck with a bad Brooklyn accent (even though the character grew up in southern California) and the stink of churlish masculinity that comes from over-active testosterone glands and beer-deadened brain cells.

Continue reading: Gigli Review

Missy Crider

Missy Crider Quick Links

News Film RSS