Most of these movies feature actors, actresses and filmmakers who really should know better...
This heavy-handed drug-war thriller proves that Oliver Stone has lost the ability to tell a balanced story. And the all-star cast seems clueless about why they're here. Except a vamping Salma Hayek.
Continue reading: The Ten Worst Films of 2012
Clearly intent on being a British Hangover/Bridesmaids hybrid, this comedy romp doesn't contain a single laugh. It doesn't help that all of the characters (except perhaps one) are deeply unlikeable, or that the humour is literally centred in the toilet. You have to wonder if anyone read the script before they started making the movie. Or maybe the filmmakers made it up as they went along.
It begins on the morning of a wedding, as bride Alex (Riley) and her bridesmaids (Suvari, Fielding and others) begin to get ready for the ceremony. Meanwhile, groom Jeremy (McNulty) wakes up to a series of pranks staged by his groomsmen (Clarke, Maza and others), plus threats from a crazed ex. Both of them have torturous routes to the church, with obstacles in the form of bodily functions, car crashes, a trip to the emergency room and general idiocy. Maybe these two shouldn't be tying the knot after all.
At least a few of the characters register as real human beings. Goldstein's hapless, hairy groomsman has some vaguely diverting moments that, if not actually funny, have a bit of originality to them due to the actor's full-on physicality. And Fielding's unhappy bridesmaid takes an interesting journey of self-discovery, even though she's subjected to a corny physical gag. Even so, the only likeable character is Riley's bride, who's a genuinely nice person with some depth. Everyone else is mindlessly self-involved and stereotypical, and most of the cast overact their characters into caricatures.
Continue reading: The Knot Review
Brian is a highly ordinary pet photographer who clashes with formidable Croatian crime kingpin Vadik Nikitin following an unforeseen incident. Nikitin seizes the opportunity and blackmails Brian into marrying his daughter Masha in return for not killing him. The marriage is set to be strictly on paper, with no consummation, so she can get US citizenship but Brian's infatuated assistant Tonya is heartbroken nonetheless. Brian and Masha are sent to Tahiti on their honeymoon where they unexpectedly fall in love; their romance looks set to have a fairytale ending before Masha is suddenly kidnapped. Brian sets out to rescue her with Tonya and two eccentric hotel workers, Ernesto and Lani, with Masha's jealous English suitor and right-hand man to Nikitin, Brick, hot on their tails.
This side-splitting Rom Com has got to be the least serious love story to come out this year with stereotypical gangster action and a cheesy but cheerful meant-to-be romance. Directed and written by Rob Hedden (writer for 'The Condemned' and 'Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan'), the delightfully charming 'You May Not Kiss The Bride' will not fail to amuse audiences anywhere on its scheduled cinema release this autumn on September 21st 2012.
Continue: You May Not Kiss The Bride Trailer
It's the class of 1999's 13th reunion (huh?), so the entire gang returns to East Great Falls. Jim and Michelle (Bigs and Hannigan) now have a 2-year-old son, which has interrupted their sex life; Oz (Klein) is a B-list TV star with a supermodel girlfriend (Bowden); the now-married Kevin is worried about rekindling his high school romance with Vicky (Reid); Finch (Thomas) is a world traveler who clicks with Michelle's band camp pal Selena (Ramirez). And then there's party-boy prankster Stifler (Scott), who hasn't changed at all and leads them into all manner of trouble.
Continue reading: American Reunion [aka American Pie: Reunion] Review
When we last saw East Great Falls' Class of '99, they were celebrating the wedding of classmates Jim Levenstein and Michelle Flaherty. Several years later, Jim and Michelle have a two year old son and have settled into a comfortable routine.
Continue: American Pie: Reunion Trailer
David and Catherine Bourne are newlyweds, for their honeymoon they decide to visit the beautiful French Riviera. The couple are inseparable, both willing to try new things and always looking for some excitement. After extending their honeymoon it doesn't take long for Catherine to become restless but she is soon appeased by an attractive Italian girl called Marita.
Continue: Hemingway's Garden Of Eden Trailer
Take Tom (Stephen Rea, channeling Norman Wisdom through a manic depressive sheen). Tom has had a bad day. Thrown out of his fleabag apartment, he hopes to wrangle a job at the unemployment office but due to a computer error, his name doesn't appear in the computer, so he is forced to roam the streets as a homeless man. When he falls asleep on a park bench, a cop wakes him up and tells him to move on. As he pushes a shopping cart in front of him, he runs into Brandi (Mena Suvari). Or more to the point, Brandi runs into him. She is returning from a club in a drug-induced haze, happy that by working on her day off for her harpy boss at the depressing retirement home she will get a promotion from her deadening job as an attendant. But calling her lunkhead boyfriend Rashid (Russell Hornsby) on her cell phone on her drive home, she neglects to look at the road and smacks into the hapless Tom, who becomes stuck in the glass windshield of the car, bleeding to death. Rather than stop her vehicle and come to Tom's assistance, she drives onward home, parking her car in her garage and hoping Tom gives up the ghost during the night so that Brandi can ditch the body and not mess up her chances at a promotion when she goes in to work the next morning. The only glitch is that Tom refuses to die.
Continue reading: Stuck Review
As teenagers in 1985 (cue the best-of-the-'80s soundtrack), Michael (Freddie Prinze, Jr.), Carmine (Scott Caan), and Bobby (Jerry Ferrara) are veering onto different paths. Bobby is the chubby and lovable lunkhead, so stupid he fears failing the Post Office application test. Carmine is the baby goodfella, a hyper stud who takes note of the money and respect that the local bosses have and can't imagine why he shouldn't join up with their crew. And Michael is the one who wants "to get out of this hellhole." An ambitious orphan, he's stumbling through Columbia on a pre-law track and has the hots for Connecticut preppie ice queen Ellen (Mena Suvari), who finds Michael's Brooklyn background attractively "edgy."
Continue reading: Brooklyn Rules Review
Caffeine follows a series of odd events during the lunch rush at the Black Cat Café, where one disaster after another is served up as the day's "blue plate special." For example, the cook (Callum Blue) is fired by the manager, Rachel (Marsha Thomason), after she finds out he's been unfaithful to her. Rachel has no one else qualified to cook, so she throws the chef's hat to a server named Tom (Mark Pellegrino), who can't even make lasagna from a written recipe. But Rachel has no other choices. Her two other employees, Vanessa (Mena Suvari) and Dylan (Breckin Meyer) spend more time on smoke breaks then they do serving coffee.
Continue reading: Caffeine Review
But so many filmed biographies cram from childhood to old age, resulting in filmed Cliff Notes, or a mini-series at twice the speed and half the scenes. That Factory Girl doesn't have to cover an Edie Sedgwick comeback -- that she dies young and off-camera -- is a perverse relief. George Hickenlooper's brief, sometimes impressionistic film is most illuminating when showing both the allure and the casualties of Warhol's free but detached Factory scene.
Continue reading: Factory Girl Review