My favorite part of every modern vampire movie is the inevitable scene in which the vampire leader (if the bloodsuckers are the protagonists) or the vampire hunter (if they're the antagonists) explains to an uninitiated character that all the popular myths about vampires are completely inaccurate.
"Here's the truth" they always say, then go on to explain the vampire rules made up to fit the plot shortcomings of that particular movie.
In "The Forsaken" -- a glossy, gory, half-heartedly hip attempt to remake "The Lost Boys" for the "Coyote Ugly" generation -- the ghouls are little more than Gap models with faded tans. They don't have fangs, they don't have any supernatural powers to speak of, and they're too lazy even to kill with a good old-fashioned bite to the jugular. They generally just shoot their prey and quaff their fill of plasma from the bullet wound. What a bunch of slackers.
Continue reading: The Forsaken Review
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