Ben Affleck is cast as Christian Wolff in this new action thriller film The Accountant. An extraordinary man with highly advanced cognitive skills that allow him to think on a different level to that of a standard human, more in line with the likes of Picasso and Einstein. He works as a freelance accountant for some of the world's most dangerous criminal organisations from the cover of a CPA office in a small town. He has two sides to his job one being an accountant and the other being a sleeping assassin, a job that when required to do so will see him perform extraordinary measures.
Continue: The Accountant Trailer
Pixie Hollow fairy friends Tinker Bell, Vidia, Iridessa, Fawn, Silvermist and Rosetta are all blessed with a unique talent to manipulate certain areas of nature. During an ice show, they discover that estranged fairy Zarina is responsible for the poppy decorations which send all the guests to sleep allowing her to steal the Blue Pixie Dust for her pirate friends at Skull Rock. Tink and the others must get the Dust back as soon as possible as it is essential in their ability to fly, but when they manage to anger Zarina by approaching her, they find that all their talents have been swapped between them. Struggling to control their new found powers, they must continue their quest to retrieve the Pixie Dust for when the rest of Pixie Hollow awaken - but that all proves to be easier said than done as time is quickly running out.
When the mopey Becca (Proske) moves back to live with her small-town sheriff dad (Bader), she feels her life can't get any worse. Her childhood friend Jacob (Riggi) is acting rather strange, and she finds herself attracted to the sullen Edward (Lanter). As three vampires (Britt, Weber and Brobst) maraud through the landscape, Becca and Edward struggle not to consummate their relationship. And when Edward runs off to hide, Jacob makes his move. Note: Yes, this is virtually the exact plot of the first two Twilight movies.
Continue reading: Vampires Suck Review
It was only a matter of time before a vampire themed spoof movie was bound to appear - and it's fallen in the capable hands of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the director/writers behind the recent spoofs Scary movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartan and Date Movie.
Continue: Vampires Suck Trailer
The first night in Uni halls is generally a big deal for every teenage, you move into your room and you've got to hope you're going to get a nice person to share with. When Sara moves into her new room she's introduced to her roommate Rebecca. The girls seem to instantly connect and a bond is formed. It seems like both have landed quite nicely and are happy with their new sharing buddy.
Continue: The Roommate Trailer
Five sorority sisters get themselves into trouble when a practical joke goes violently wrong. Pushy leader Jessica (Pipes) wants to cover up the crime, and Claire and Chugs (Chung and Harshman) agree. But Cassidy (Evigan) wants to come clean, and Ellie (Willis) can't cope with the guilt. Eight months later it comes back to haunt them, when the girl (Patridge) they thought was dead seems to return with a vengeance on the night of their year-end party.
Continue reading: Sorority Row Review
Satan is a studio head. That's really all one can say before starting a review of Disaster Movie.
After breaking up with his gorgeous girlfriend Amy (Vanessa Minnillo), Will (Matt Lanter) throws a Super Duper Sweet Sixteen party -- even though he's 28. Along for the festivities are pregnant pal Juney (Crista Flanagan), best buddy Calvin (G. Thang), and his lady Lisa (Kim Kardashian). Without warning, the city is pummeled by asteroids, spoiling the fun and sending Will and his friends out into the streets. There, they run into an ice storm, a tornado, and various holdovers from the 2007-2008 movie season. When he discovers Amy is trapped in the local museum, Will vows to save her, as well as the planet. Of course, he must use the mystic powers of the legendary Crystal Skull to do so.
As expected, Disaster Movie is artless, humorless, and all in all worthless. It's the lowest form of comedic cunning (the obvious spoof), propagated by people who wouldn't know the first thing about funny business if Judd Apatow came by and farted in their face. Zombies are jealous of how readily so-called filmmakers Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have cannibalized their commercial carte blanche. Instead of taking all the millions they made off the other awful examples of their (Insert Name Here) Movie template and putting it to proper entertainment use, they gather together a series of unrelated elements and pray that the pre-adolescent audience is too busy texting to pay attention.
When a slam at Pinkberry is your one and only laughing point, you know your screenplay is bereft of intelligence. Then again, no one ever claimed that Friedberg and Seltzer were scriptwriting geniuses. Instead, one can envision the pair seated in front of their feather light MacBook Air, Lionsgate contract, and several "social" beverages in hand, listing out the possible cinematic targets that have made an impact on the industry since the last installment of the series. Then they toss in some incredibly random celeb beats ("Amy Winehouse! Um... Wolf from American Gladiators!") and call it a payday. A big, fat, unwarranted, and unnecessary payday.
Nothing makes sense here: Not having Carmen Electra asexually wrestle Ms. Kardashian; not the appearance of Prince Caspian; not the flesh eating chipmunks, nor the nonsensical lifts from Night at the Museum. The guys even toss in an overlong High School Musical joke that might have worked had it not been so amateurish and obvious. Oddly enough, for a genre known for its gag-a-minute format, this film has more exposition and dead air than an NPR broadcast.
Yet the biggest sin committed by this ongoing assault to the parody genre is that Friedberg and Seltzer forget what makes a truly memorable lampoon. Airplane! wasn't just a series of last month's media notes. It actually used an entire category of film to formulate its farce. Indeed, from Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles (westerns) or High Anxiety (Hitchcock) to The Naked Gun (police procedurals) or This is Spinal Tap (rock and roll), the quality spoof has always been built out of something real and recognizable. What our dunderheaded duo attempt here is the kind of sloppy sketch comedy that makes the Friday series look like Monty-friggin-Python.
The end result is not just bad but painful, similar to having your wisdom teeth pulled without the aid of drugs, clean instruments, or an actual dentist. Maybe if the Juno material wasn't as overdone as Diablo Cody's own sense of self, perhaps if the elongated Enchanted sequences didn't choke on their own cheerlessness, we could tolerate the rest of this repugnance. Instead, Disaster Movie leaves one with a feeling of failure -- and the knowledge that, come this spring, these idiots will more than likely be back.
And may God have mercy on our everlasting, unamused souls.
There's not even any room for a Bristol Palin gag.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars takes place in between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, and somewhere in the middle of the Clone Wars television series that appeared on The Cartoon Network from 2003-2005. A newsreel style introduction (unfortunately reminiscent of Starship Troopers) explains that the eponymous conflict between the Republic's Jedi-led clone army and the Separatist droid army led by Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) is well underway. While Anakin Skywalker (Matt Lanter) and Obi-Wan Kenobi (James Arnold Taylor) fight a campaign on a distant planet, Anakin is saddled with a pupil, the Padawan Ahsoka Tano (Ashley Eckstein) who quickly proves herself to be plucky and impetuous in a way that's supposed to be endearing but is actually grating. (You're going to call Anakin "Skyguy?" Really?)
Continue reading: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) Review
Director Stuart Gillard dutifully follows up the still-precient original with another installment of WarGames. It's not quite a sequel, not quite a remake... though it ostensibly continues the story not of David Lightman (Matthew Broderick in the original), but rather of whatever happened to the W.O.P.R. (aka Joshua) and its creator, Stephen Falken.
Continue reading: WarGames: The Dead Code Review
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