Martine Beswick

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Thunderball Review


Very Good
The first big Big BIG Bond movie, complete with a boat that separates into two pieces, an underwater war, Baccarrat, no fewer than four Bond girls (all of whom found their voices dubbed-over by the same actress), and at least one clever witticism delivered by Connery every five minutes. It's too long and doesn't make any sense at times, but it's a real jaw-dropper (especially for 1965). Crudely remade as Never Say Never Again in 1983. Bond fans should look for the DVD, which features 8 theatrical trailers, 3 making of documentaries, and 2 commentary tracks. Wow.

Continue reading: Thunderball Review

Wide Sargasso Sea Review


Weak
In the same year as the masterful The Piano, Wide Sargasso Sea planted a foreign woman in a lush tropical setting and cut her loose to roll in the hay with the natives. The sexy similarities are uncanny, but Sargasso is about as uninteresting as romantic drama can get.

Starlet Karina Lombard was one of those shot-in-the-dark/outta-nowhere actresses (today's example: Kill Bill's Chiaki Kuriyama) who made a splash in a tiny role (she was the island girl who seduced Tom Cruise in The Firm) and subsequently bit off more than she could chew in a lead role. But since Lombard has no discernable acting ability, it's almost painful to watch her try to pull off this romance. Playing a Jamaican landowner in the 1840s, she marries an import Englishman named Rochester (Nathaniel Parker) in order to maintain her status. Too bad her family's a wreck, with a crazy mother locked up in the house. Nevertheless, there's plenty of time for lots of sex -- which originally earned Sargasso an R but got it re-rated as an NC-17 for it's minutely more graphic home video release (which is one minute longer than the R version).

Continue reading: Wide Sargasso Sea Review

Thunderball Review


Very Good
The first big Big BIG Bond movie, complete with a boat that separates into two pieces, an underwater war, Baccarrat, no fewer than four Bond girls (all of whom found their voices dubbed-over by the same actress), and at least one clever witticism delivered by Connery every five minutes. It's too long and doesn't make any sense at times, but it's a real jaw-dropper (especially for 1965). Crudely remade as Never Say Never Again in 1983. Bond fans should look for the DVD, which features 8 theatrical trailers, 3 making of documentaries, and 2 commentary tracks. Wow.

One Million Years B.C. Review


OK
My two-year old daughter got a kick out of the claymation dinosaurs and I enjoyed Raquel Welch's fur bra and pantie outfit, but let's face it, One Million Years B.C. is a ridiculously guilty pleasure -- at best. The only spoken dialogue is narration -- the story, of a man kicked out of his tribe who hooks up with Welch's beachdwellers, only to do battle with his old tribe and lots of clay creatures (including giant turtles and iguanas) is told completely through grunting and chest beating. Though in the case of Welch, this can be a good thing.
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