When will Michael Bay call it a day?
Let's talk about Transformers: Age of Extinction. It begins after an epic battle left a great city torn apart. It has a shiny new cast including Mark Wahlberg. Optimus Prime is back. It's billed as an "incredible adventure". It's not very good. It has 17% on Rotten Tomatoes. Everyone hates it.
Transformers: Age of Extinction
"The movie's crammed with useless nuts and bolts, the storytelling equivalent of a mechanic who lifts the hood of your car and says, "That's everything, fix it yourself."" said Amy Nicholson of LA Weekly.
"With all of the exploding Porsches and Lamborghinis that its $180 million dollar budget affords, Extinction feels like the cinematic equivalent of big game hunting (especially when it is set in a country where the minimum wage is $2 an hour)" wrote Adam Ross of The Aristocrat.
"If it truly takes this long to save the world from the depredations of robots that turn into muscle cars, it may be that the world is no longer worth saving," wrote Christopher Orr of The Atlantic.
Age of Extinction is guarenteed to top the box office
"[Compared to Michael Bay's earlier work in Bad Boys and Armageddon], the Transformers films resemble out-of-control art school projects - crass without being remotely watchable, as if mocking the very notion of entertainment," said Jake Wilson of the Sydney Morning Herald.
"The worst part is, with a semi-capable script and a more focused delivery, Michael Bay could have had a pretty stellar Transformers movie, instead of yet another Bay-splosion filled bit of clunky chaos," said Matt Donato of We Got This Covered.
Nevertheless, Transformers: Age of Extinction is pretty much guaranteed to top the box office this weekend and, with Wahlberg now in the saddle, it's likely Michael Bay is going to keep making Transformers movies. Petition, anyone?