Rocker Marilyn Manson was so low during his recent marriage break-up with Dita Von Teese - he came close to committing suicide. Von Teese filed for divorce in December (06), citing Manson's "inappropriate relationship" with another woman as her reason for the split. The musician has since confessed his love for teen actress Evan Rachel Wood. And things became so bad for Manson that he wanted to kill himself, until he realised the difference between "wanting to die and not wanting to live". He tells MTV News, "I was clearly at the point where I was ready to give up, and it wasn't that I didn't have the motivation to ... it was almost as if I couldn't bring myself to make a conclusion. "I can look back on it now like it was a different person, and I refuse to ever get to that place again. But it was mostly because I didn't feel that I had someone who was going to walk with me through the horrible reality that we live in. "Did I want to kill myself? Yes. Did I come close to doing that? More than I'd like to think. The only thing I can say about it is, I feel like maybe I wasn't strong enough to make that choice. "I guess I was just more lost than anything. I didn't have anything to attach myself to. I didn't have any emotions or fears - nothing to have hope for. "There's a big difference, I discovered, between wanting to die and not wanting to live. When you want to die, you at least have a goal. When you don't want to live, you're really just empty."