When a movie begins with a lot of narration, it's rarely a good sign. It almost invariably means the director's first cut of the picture was flaccid, and in order to shore it up, scenes from the beginning were diced into a montage to get the audience to the core of the story sooner.

"Woman on Top" begins with about 10 minutes of fairy-tale style narration, all about how a beautiful Brazilian girl named Isabella (talented Spanish enchantress Penelope Cruz) was cursed by the gods with extreme motion sickness, but blessed an ambrosial ability for the culinary arts.

The narrator goes on to explain how this girl grew up and met a sexy waiter (Murilo Benicio) whom she seduced with her cooking. They married and opened a restaurant together, where she quickly became frustrated because she did all the work and he got all the credit.

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