Lloyd Segan

Lloyd Segan

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The Boondock Saints Review


OK
Already an insanely overrated cult classic, The Boondock Saints has Irish (and super-religious) brothers (Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus) taking Boston by storm as vigilantes ridding the town of evildoers. Meanwhile, a gay FBI agent (Willem Dafoe, who steals the show completely) is hot on the trail, while the boys also get hunted by kooky crime lord (Billy Connolly).

Stylish and fun in a cheeseball sort of way (think Tarantino without the retro hipness), these Saints are amusing enough -- until the endless gunplay, blood-splattering, and monotonous SCREAMING MATCHES wear you down. I'd had enough within 45 minutes, but you'll have to make it through 110... and then there's the sequel that's on the way.

Continue reading: The Boondock Saints Review

Bones Review


Grim
In this cheesy flick, rapper extraordinaire Snoop Dogg simply barks up the wrong tree. Snoop, who has previously tested the acting waters with his menacing persona in inner city dramas such as Training Day and Baby Boy, gets to strut his stuff in director Ernest Dickerson's garishly laughable thriller. Dickerson (Juice) wastes his star in a labored vehicle that is riddled with misguided camp and countless spook-infested clichés. Not enough to even deem this imbecilic fable a worthy copycat blaxploitation flick, there are sticks and stones that can certainly break the brittle Bones. No doubt the filmmakers behind this bloated hip-hoppish Halloween costume drama will draw its intended audience to see their "phat" Snoop Dogg do his thing. It's too bad he plays second fiddle to the ridiculous premise of this mockish movie.

Snoop Dogg portrays charismatic hood Jimmy Bones, a stylish late '70s dude with a cool demeanor to match his threads. Jimmy has always protected his community by looking out for his crime-ridden neighborhood. He possesses the cocky swagger of John Shaft and the street savvy of Superfly's Priest. We're told in flashback that Jimmy Bones refused to deal crack cocaine to his beloved people, and thus the crooked cops and thugs snuffed him out. But nobody betrays Jimmy Bones -- nobody! So he comes back from the dead.

Continue reading: Bones Review

The Boondock Saints Review


OK
Already a cult classic, The Boondock Saints has Irish (and super-religious) brothers (Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus) taking Boston by storm as vigilantes ridding the town of evildoers. Meanwhile, a gay FBI agent (Willem Dafoe, who steals the show completely) is hot on the trail, while the boys also get hunted by kooky crime lord (Billy Connolly).

Continue reading: The Boondock Saints Review

The Bachelor Review


Grim
There are two types of comedies coming out of Hollywood today: adult-oriented star-vehicles and teen-oriented ensemble pictures. You can say what you will about the preponderance of whining, post-modern Dawson's Creek reprises stocking our airwaves and movie theaters, but you can't say much at all about the vacuous one-trick pony known as the modern Hollywood romantic comedy. So I will keep my comments on The Bachelor brief.

In full, the plot of The Bachelor is that Chris O'Donnell has 27 hours to tie the knot, which would assure him of a $100 million inheritance and cozy jobs for life for himself and all of his friends. Unfortunately, he already monumentally botched his proposal to his girlfriend, Renee Zellweger (I won't bother with character names here; I didn't remember them, you won't either). Wacky hijinks ensue, and we all hope desperately it will work out for the best between Chris and Renee.

Continue reading: The Bachelor Review

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