Pop star Lily Allen has revealed she's living in fear of miscarrying her baby with boyfriend SAM COOPER after losing her first child at the beginning of 2008.
The Smile singer admits her pregnancy has not been joyful so far - because she's haunted by her former baby tragedy.
And she reveals her second pregnancy has been "really difficult".
Allen tells Britain's Sunday Times, "I came off the pill and, weirdly, a week later it happened. But then it was really difficult, I had complications.
"I had about a week and a half of really heavy bleeding and had to have lots of scans... I’ve been living in fear for the past three months."
But that hasn't put her off her motherhood dreams: "I’ve probably been saying it since I was seven."
The singer plans to retire from the music industry to concentrate on motherhood - and she's desperate to give her child the "normal" family upbringing she once craved.
Allen, the daughter of actor Keith Allen and screenwriter Alison Owen, explains, "It’s not that I didn’t enjoy my childhood, because I did, but I suppose I was always quite fascinated by how a normal family would operate.
"Everyone I knew when I was growing up came from divorced parents. I do remember when I had my first proper boyfriend at 16, going to his parents’ house in Ireland and we all sat round had dinner together and I was really overwhelmed by the whole thing."