Nicholas Sparks strikes again with yet another film based on a misty-eyed novel about tormented seaside romance in the romanticised American South. It's so trapped in Sparks' cliche-ridden universe that we know the entire plot right from the start, including expectations of a maudlin, possibly supernatural twist along the way and an over-sentimental climax. Fans of this sort of thing will love it, but everyone else will struggle to see it as anything more than simplistic rubbish.
The woman in peril this time is Katie (Hough), who is introduced while on the run, dying her hair blonde and jumping on a midnight bus out of Boston. When she arrives in a picture-postcard North Carolina fishing town, she takes one look at hunky shopkeeper Alex (Duhamel) and decides to stay. Not only is he handy with home repairs, but he has two smart, observant young children (Kirkland and Lomax) he's raising on his own. Even Katie's new neighbour (Smulders) thinks she should grab him while he's single. But she is of course running from something, and a tenacious cop Kevin (Lyons) on her trail.
In every movie based on a Sparks novel, we know exactly who is good and evil from the start. Sure enough, Kevin is clearly bad because he drinks vodka and is accompanied by menacing music every time we seen him. We also know there will be a surprise along the way, something that stretches the already fragile story logic beyond the breaking point. And in this film, it's also something cunningly designed to wrench tears from sensitive audience members. But everyone else in the audience will laugh at how inane it all is, bravely resisting the manipulative storytelling all the way to the happiest possible ending.
Continue reading: Safe Haven Review
$$$ may be right, but  is definitely not forthcoming, at least not in the case of Dante's Peak, a shameless and blatant rip-off of the mildly entertaining aforementioned film that is largely responsible for the return to prominence of the disaster movie. This time around, it's a volcano that threatens the peace of little Dante's Peak, and it's Pierce Brosnan who comes to the rescue.
Continue reading: Dante's Peak Review
The Alamo isn't a patriotic, heart-swelling epic. It's a dull, rotten, dreary, excruciatingly-long miniseries which sadly reduces men of historical significance to dirtbags fighting over dirt. Yawn. Ugh. Another $100 million that could have saved the Texas school system.
Continue reading: The Alamo (2004) Review
The story is simple: There's no real plot or central character -- aside from a $20 that makes it way from a random pickup across several days and dozens of handlers. From a homeless woman (Linda Hunt) intent on buying a lottery ticket with it to the G-string of a stripper (Melora Walters) to a pair of thieves (Christopher Lloyd and Steve Buscemi) to many more characters normal and exotic, the bill gets filthier and filthier until its ultimate demise (and rebirth, back in the hands of Hunt's street urchin).
Continue reading: Twenty Bucks Review
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