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Gloria (1999) Review


Unbearable
A shocking must-avoid. Sharon Stone at her worst (and that's bad!). An awful, ill-conceived idea, remade from an equally bad 1980 John Cassavetes film by the same name. None of these phrases quite gets across the horror that is Gloria, a film that has to resort to Sharon Stone's cleavage to move copies of the video (see the box cover if you don't believe me). Sadly, said cleavage is -- by far -- the best part of this film, a pedestrian remake of a Cassavetes movie regarding a brazen, New Yoikah ex-con (Stone "If yah evah luvved me...") and her charge, a little boy on the run from the mob. Yech.

Desperate Measures Review


Grim
Michael Keaton as a serial killer? Well, why not, I guess. He was the original Batman, after all. But Michael Keaton as a serial killer who happens to be the only man alive whose DNA matches the son of the cop who busted him and needs some kind of transplant? Er, someone needs to go back to reality school.

The Score Review


Extraordinary
I'll admit to having a soft spot for heist movies. It's just too bad that, with the exception of The Thomas Crown Affair remake, most recent heist flicks have come off atrociously, a fact to which anyone who sat through the ridiculous Entrapment can testify.

Hallelujah. The Score is the heist film I've wanted to see for a long time. Not since James Caan burned that safe open in 1981's Thief has a safecracking been so tense and meticulously designed. And with the triple threat of Ed Norton, Robert De Niro, and -- God bless him -- Marlon Brando, The Score is in some excellent hands.

Continue reading: The Score Review

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