Watch the trailer for The Slammin' Salmon
When Cleon Salmon's career as a heavyweight boxer was over, he felt a new career in the catering trade would be a nice way to spend his years. The Slammin' Salmon is a high end seafood eatery in Miami, Cleon himself, manages his untrained oddball staff.
Continue: The Slammin' Salmon Trailer
No longer a toddler, Damien: Omen II finds our young antichrist shipped to Chicago to live with his aunt (Lee Grant) and uncle (William Holden -- yeah, that William Holden). He's a hugely successful titan of industry, which is perfect for Damien: Eventually he'll become the boss of Thorn Industries, a great vantage point for ruling the world as the dark lord.
Continue reading: Damien: Omen II Review
Ed Harley (Lance Henriksen) is a single father running a small grocery store along the outskirts of town. He loves his little boy Billy (Matthew Hurley) and dotes over him incessantly. When a group of teenagers wander into town, motorcycles in tow, Harley senses trouble. Sure enough, an accident involving his son turns fatal. Devastated, our parent turns to a hillbilly family for help. Seems they know the whereabouts of a legendary witch who can unleash a vengeful spirit known as Pumpkinhead. Knowing he will never rest until something is done, Harley makes the necessary blood sacrifice, and unleashes the deadly demon. Little does he know that while his boy will be avenged, his own soul is in mortal danger.
Continue reading: Pumpkinhead Review
Alien 3 continues with the series tradition, beginning exactly where Aliens concluded. When we left Lt. Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), the android Bishop (Lance Henriksen), Cpt. Hicks (Michael Biehn), and Ripley's surrogate daughter Newt (Danielle Edmond), they managed to destroy the creature, board a spacecraft, set course for Earth, and fall into deep sleep. Unfortunately, another alien has found its way onboard with them.
Continue reading: Alien 3 Review
The story begs for description but truly makes no sense at all. I'll try my best: Serial killer Jesse Mowatt (Pavan Grover, who also wrote the script) is fried in the electric chair, but it just won't take. He keeps coming back to life! Enter psychologist Diana Purlow (Dina Meyer), who has a kick-ass machine that can turn your memories into video. Somehow she feels this will help matters, and though angry prison warden (Dennis Hopper, yeah baby!) doesn't like the idea, she goes ahead anyway. The subsequent gore is balanced by mealworms crawling out of ears and split-open brains plus a bizarre story about Purlow having an abortion secreted in her past.
Continue reading: Unspeakable Review
The last time we saw Tarzan, he was saving a Lost City in the worst film of 1998 (shockingly titled Tarzan and the Lost City). The story is a bit more traditional this time, with Tarzan adopted by gorillas after his human parents are killed by a leopard. When he grows up, a group of British explorers stumble upon him, and after the "You Tarzan, me Jane" exchange, the British bad guy, Clayton, decides he's going to take all the gorillas back to Britain for sale. Adventure ensues, along with a love story and singing.
Continue reading: Tarzan (1999) Review
Of all of the dumb action flicks that I have seen, Hard Target is perhaps the easiest target of all to hit. It sits there, a bloated animal on the silver screen, waiting for some nasty critic to take pen to paper and kick it until it stops moving... and I suppose that job would fall upon yours truly.
Continue reading: Hard Target Review
Something of an updated, hybridized E.T., Powder is the story of an albino teenager (Sean Patrick Flanery) with strange powers of telekinesis, empathy, and the ability to channel and absorb raw energy. As Powder says, "I'm not like other people." That's putting it lightly.
Continue reading: Powder Review
Well, that's what we get here, a ridiculous by-the-numbers teens-on-the-run movie, this time from a computer that's become infected by those very kids, looking to create a diversion and get out of trouble. Darn kids -- The Mangler will show 'em not to meddle!
Continue reading: The Mangler 2 Review
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