Danny Bryce, an ex special ops agent who was considered one of the best in the world, is a retired member of Britain's Special Air Service (SAS). He is looking forward to spending his days not doing a lot, when he hears that his former mentor, Hunter, has been taken hostage by his arch enemy, Spike. As well as this, Spike has also dispatched three trained assassins - known as 'The Clinic' - to kill Danny, to stop him rescuing Hunter.
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A viable, if amusingly absurd, comedy concept lies behind "The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course." What if a big, mean croc in the wilds of Australia swallowed a top-secret data beacon from a crashed spy satellite? And what if Steve Irwin -- that charismatically obnoxious daredevil naturalist from the Animal Planet cable channel -- thought the CIA goons sent to retrieve it were actually poachers trying to kill the croc?
If you've ever seen "The Crocodile Hunter" show (and let's face it, you wouldn't be considering seeing the movie if you hadn't), you can probably see the screwball, sketch-comedy appeal of a clueless Irwin engaged in a game of backwater cat-and-mouse with city-slicker spies he thinks are out to skin one of his precious wild animals.
But no matter how firmly director John Stainton has his tongue in his cheek, the fact remains that a wacky concept does not a movie make. Split into two distinct narratives, Irwin spends his half of the film doing exactly what he does on TV -- catching critters, talking to the camera incessantly and with unbridled hyperactive enthusiasm, and saying "Crikey!" a lot. His scenes are even shot in 1.33:1 aspect ratio -- the shape of a TV screen instead of a movie screen -- which proves distracting when the film goes wide-screen to follow the CIA guys (David Wenham and Lachy Hulme), whose scenes are staged like a goof on a Tom Clancy flick.
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