Kristy Swanson

Kristy Swanson

Kristy Swanson Quick Links

News Pictures Film Quotes RSS

Hallmark TCA Winter 2014 Party

Kristy Swanson - Hallmark Television Critics Association Winter 2014 Party at the historic Huntington Library - San Marino, California, United States - Sunday 12th January 2014

Kristy Swanson

Eva Varro Clothing Store Grand Opening

Eva Varro and Kristy Swanson - Eva Varro Clothing Store Grand Opening in Newport Beach - Los Angeles, CA, United States - Friday 30th August 2013

Kristy Swanson
Kristy Swanson
Kristy Swanson
Kristy Swanson and Maeve Quinlan
Kristy Swanson and Maeve Quinlan

Celebrity Charity Curling Match

Tracey Gold and Kristy Swanson - Hollywood Curling hosts Celebrity Charity Curling Match - Valencia, California, United States - Sunday 7th July 2013

Tracey Gold and Kristy Swanson
Tracey Gold and Kristy Swanson
Kristy Swanson
Kristy Swanson
Kristy Swanson

'Annual Red Cross Red Tie Affair' - Inside

Kristy Swanson and Maeve Quinlan - Members of the Armed Forces and the cast of 'NCIS' honoured at the 'Annual Red Cross Red Tie Affair' - Inside - Santa Monica, California, United States - Saturday 6th April 2013

Susan Blakely, Anna Easterden, Kristy Swanson and Maeve Quinlan
Kristy Swanson and Maeve Quinlan

'Annual Red Cross Red Tie Affair' - Arrivals

Kristy Swanson and Julie Thomas - Members of the Armed Forces and the cast of 'NCIS' honoured at the 'Annual Red Cross Red Tie Affair' - Arrivals - Santa Monica, California, United States - Saturday 6th April 2013

Kristy Swanson
Kristy Swanson
Kristy Swanson
Kristy Swanson
Kristy Swanson

Deadly Friend Review


Weak
Before she was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Kristy Swanson was, er, a robot. Deadly Friend has to be one of the guiltiest of all guilty pleasures, a Wes Craven-directed thriller about a new kid in town, who has invented a robot that would be considered sophisticated even today, but which has violent tendencies. Lest you think the little robot is going to start killing people, think again: The girl next door (Swanson) gets beat up and accidentally killed by her abusive dad, so our genius hero sneaks into the morgue and implants a robot chip into her head. Presto: zombie robot Kristy Swanson is up and at 'em and getting revenge. Best scene: Robo-Kristy hurls a basketball at a poor lady's head, causing it to explode. A basketball. Deadly friend, indeed.

Living Death Review


Terrible
I kind of feel sorry for Kristy Swanson. She stars in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a movie that makes no money and takes her career... absolutely nowhere. Then, years later, they make a TV show out of the movie, stick it on a network that nobody watches, and put Sarah Michelle Gellar in the lead role. It becomes a huge, cult hit and Gellar becomes a breakout star. You gotta wonder if Swanson is just pissed off, all the time.

This review of her latest, the straight-to-DVD Living Death, probably isn't going to help. It's a terrible little film, a blatant attempt to make a quick buck. The film is a ripoff of the latest trend in horror filmmaking: Creepy guy has a secret room that he uses solely to torture people and/or kill them. In this film, the creepy guy is Victor (Greg Bryk), an idle rich kid with a wife (Swanson) he all but ignores. She wants to divorce him, but their lawyer (Joshua Peace) has a better idea: Poison him and make it look like an overdose. The only problem: The drugs they give Victor are from his own stash, designed to put the taker into a kind of living death, where they can't move or speak, but they still hear, see, and feel everything.

Continue reading: Living Death Review

Dude, Where's My Car? Review


Unbearable
I really wanted to like Dude, Where's My Car? After a week of deadlines, dead time, and dead emotions, I needed a goofy movie to revive me.

So, imagine my horror as I sat alone in the cavernous theater, trying to muster a chuckle or a titter. Ornery ostriches didn't do the trick. Neither did a transsexual stripper, a pot-smoking dog or an appearance by Fabio.

Continue reading: Dude, Where's My Car? Review

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Review


OK
I'll admit to it - I watch the series. Occasionally, I'm tuned to Pittsburgh's WB 31 and it just happens to be Tuesdays and I decide: OK, tonight I'm going to watch cheap horror and dammit, I'm going to do my best to enjoy it! Why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my drug of choice I don't know. I've only been watching it for a few weeks and teen angst films and TV shows were never perennial favorites, but I'd like to think I see something in the show that most people don't. What is it? I would have to say that, like The X-Files, Millennium, ER, and Ally McBeal, four other shows that I watch about every week, Buffy the Vampire Slayer has a sick sense of humor.

I've always been a fan of dark comedies, as anyone reading my reviews for a long time will know, and I've always found that, if a dark comedy doesn't try to have any point beyond humor, it's much more enjoyable. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", in catering to the acne center of the nation (both figuratively and literally), ends up putting all of this stupid crap of love and relationships and "well-built" characters which are actually cardboard cutouts. It would be much stronger without all this teen angst crap.

Continue reading: Buffy The Vampire Slayer Review

The Chase Review


Unbearable
Unwatchable crap. Sorry for being blunt.

Soul Assassin Review


Grim
Soul Assassin? No, it's not a new kung fu video game, it's a thriller with Skeet Ulrich in the lead. Yes, Skeet Ulrich is still working, and he's alongside Kristy Swanson in this impossible-to-explain business/corruption/espionage/vengeance movie. Virtually the entire movie is shot in wierd blue mood lighting, with flashbacks, jump-cuts, and a gaggle of characters to follow. Not entirely worth the effort.

Higher Learning Review


Grim
I first saw John Singleton's Higher Learning when I was 17. Back in 1995, my friend and I left the theater feeling like we had seen an important commentary on American society. We felt informed.

It just goes to show you how clueless teenagers are. At 23, I rented the movie again and realized that I had no idea what the hell Singleton was talking about. Certainly, a lot of big issues are broached in the movie: racism, sexuality, democracy, college education and its value. Higher Learning poses a lot of issues, but rarely does it offer any meaningful answers.

Continue reading: Higher Learning Review

Big Daddy Review


Grim

Adam Sandler has gone soft and it just doesn't work. Whilehe somehow managed to carry off his sweet, pathetic romantic lead characterin "The Wedding Singer" last year, in "BigDaddy" he's taken it too far. The formerly outrageous Sandler hasbecome the Sensitive Guy.

He's polite and politically correct toward two of his collegebuddies who turned gay and became a couple. He's accompanied everywherehe goes by a tender moments soundtrack copped from a General Foods InternationalCoffees commercial. And get this -- he cries. Not for laughs, either.He cries and wants the audience to commiserate with his broken little heart.He wants us to like him.

Buddy, you're Adam Sandler, not Jimmy Stewart. Heck, you'renot even Robin Williams, and he's no good at that sad clown crap, either.

Continue reading: Big Daddy Review

Dude, Where's My Car Review


Grim

A funny concept that gets too dumb in too much of a hurry, "Dude, Where's My Car?" is a low-brow comedy about two stoners trying to find one dude's beat-up Yugo the morning after a night of partying so awesome they can't remember a thing about it.

Sweet, dude!

Desperately tying to retrace their steps because they left presents for their bimbo girlfriends in the trunk, the two stoned boneheads discover their previous 12 hours apparently included strippers, jock bullies, getting tattooed, boffing Kristy Swanson ("Big Daddy") in the back seat, and five "extremely hot chicks with large breasts" in leather jump suits who turn out to be aliens looking for something called the Continuum Transponder.

Continue reading: Dude, Where's My Car Review

Kristy Swanson

Kristy Swanson Quick Links

News Pictures Film Quotes RSS