Kristen Cloke

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Black Christmas (2006) Review


Excellent
On a yearly basis, Hollywood tries to profit from the holidays. This year, Tinsletown released The Santa Clause 3, Unaccompanied Minors, Deck the Halls, The Nativity Story, and The Holiday for the seasonal viewing pleasures of families everywhere...

Then -- on Christmas Day -- came Black Christmas, a holiday film for people who were bored as Santa battled Jack Frost and yawned as Mary and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem on a donkey. For audiences like us, there could be nothing more joyous than watching annoying sorority chicks getting diced to pieces on Christmas break by an inbred psychopath.

Continue reading: Black Christmas (2006) Review

Final Destination Review


OK
"I'm never going to die!" yells one character at a memorial for 39 fellow French-class students who died in a plane crash that, by all rights, he should have died on too. As incredibly laughable as this line is, it provides the big flaw in the basic premise behind Final Destination... making a horror movie about people cheating death does not have much potential. Since you can't kill Death, destroy Death, or send Death screaming back to its home planet, you have a no-win scenario in front of you. No matter what is said or done, everyone ends up getting it.

This is not to give you a spoiler and to say that everyone gets it in the movie. This is simply to point out the fact that no matter which way they go, they're screwed. Death is a no-win scenario. If you're going to make a movie about escaping death, make it a la Fearless, where we focus on the human element. But since it's a horror film the ball is in the court of Director James Wong to provide us with something that will keep us interested for an hour and forty minutes of inevitability.

Continue reading: Final Destination Review

Final Destination Review


Weak

"Final Destination" begins with an unusually fresh and amply terrifying scene in which a nondescript horror movie prototeen (Devon Sawa) has a vivid, realistic, and special effects-laden premonition that the 747 he's just boarded will explode on take-off.

In his vision, the cabin shakes violently, overhead compartments blast open and passengers scramble desperately for dropping air masks just before a fireball rips down the aisles. To the audience, it feels like the theater seats have been transported onboard the quaking airliner.

Snapped awake in a sweat from his incubus, Sawa ("Idle Hands") flips out and bolts for the exit. When his friends try to calm him down, they all get dragged off the plane and left in the terminal where they watch helplessly as -- you guessed it -- the jet goes kaplewy in mid-air, killing everyone aboard.

Continue reading: Final Destination Review

Kristen Cloke

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Kristen Cloke Movies

Black Christmas (2006) Movie Review

Black Christmas (2006) Movie Review

On a yearly basis, Hollywood tries to profit from the holidays. This year, Tinsletown released...

Final Destination Movie Review

Final Destination Movie Review

"I'm never going to die!" yells one character at a memorial for 39 fellow French-class...

Final Destination Movie Review

Final Destination Movie Review

"Final Destination" begins with an unusually fresh and amply terrifying scene in which a nondescript...

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