Kim Miyori

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The Big Picture Review


Extraordinary
This tragically underrated look at Hollywood isn't exactly realistic (if it was this easy to become a celebrity director, I'd quit this gig in a heartbeat), but damn if it isn't funny as hell. From the twisted mind of Christopher Guest, who undoubtedly has a few Hollywood tales of his own to tell, The Big Picture takes us through one man's (Kevin Bacon) brief ride from the top of the Hollywood heap to the bottom and back to the top again, all carried by an absurd wave of hype. Dozens of A-listers appear in roles large and small, none of whom quite approaches the hysterical level of Martin Short as Bacon's effeminate agent.

The Punisher (1989) Review


Terrible
One of cinema's worst duds ever, Dolph Lundgren is actually at his mediocre best here as the Marvel Comics star -- a former policeman turned vigilante who is out to avenge the death of his wife and child. Things go from stupid to completely asinine when the Punisher decides to take on the local Japanese Yakuza mobsters, who have kidnapped the children of his usual enemies, the Italian mafia. Can't we all just get along? Not if it means sitting through this film, marred by cheeseball sets and special effects, lame fight sequences, and some of the worst acting ever to disgrace the screen. Director Mark Goldblatt returned to editing after this bomb.

Continue reading: The Punisher (1989) Review

Metro Review


Bad
Awful and derivative, this Eddie Murphy vehicle relies so much on is-there-a-killer-aroiund-the-corner-no-it's-a-dog fright gags that it's pathetic. Maybe the worst offender of all is near the end, when Murphy's cop (of course) finds a little package in front of his door and spends 30 seconds slowly opening it... to... reveal... a... cassette tape! Good lord. I'd explain the plot but that would force me to further insult us both.
Kim Miyori

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