Kett Turton

Kett Turton

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Show Me Review


Good
Nice setup, sounds familiar: A woman is driving through traffic in a dense urban area (Toronto?) and two homeless "squeegee kids" hop into her car. First the beg for a ride down the street. Then a little further. Then one pulls a knife and demands to be taken to a lakeside cabin in the woods.

Sam (Allegra Fulton) is our yuppie heroine, and the gothy Carl (Gabriel Hogan) and moody Jenna (Ginger Snaps' Katharine Isabelle) are her tormentors. The kidnapping is a bit out of the blue, and neither of the teens has much of a plan on how to deal with Sam once she's tied to a chair in the living room. But eventually, the mind games begin and the trio starts to mess with one another as Sam tries to feebly escape and Carl and Jenna try to figure out how to react.

Continue reading: Show Me Review

Heart Of America Review


Weak
You say Heart of America. I think Disney, helicopter shops of forest rangers, Imax, maybe 3-D, maybe some fireworks.

You say a thinly-veiled fictionalization of the Columbine massacre. I say directed by Uwe Boll (He'll make four movies based on video games from 2003 to 2006.)

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Rollercoaster Review


Bad
At a certain unnamed Six Flags, somewhere in the country, I once had a girlfriend. She worked at the giant teepee at Frontier Land. When we first met, we ended up talking for something close to four hours, during which time the subject of the conversation inevitably turned to work, and she explained a certain ritual called the Swimsuit Relay. The Swimsuit Relay takes place in the diving pool, and occurs as part of a series of pre-park-opening events during the last days of the season.

Recalling the rules from memory, each team has 20 people on it, 10 of each sex. There is one female's one-piece to a team. It starts on one girl, who swims to the opposite side, places it on a boy, who then swims back and places the suit on the next girl.

Continue reading: Rollercoaster Review

Kett Turton

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Kett Turton Movies

Rollercoaster Movie Review

Rollercoaster Movie Review

At a certain unnamed Six Flags, somewhere in the country, I once had a girlfriend....

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