Just when you thought movies couldn't get any more ridiculous, along comes a film that poses the question, "Did Dracula ever have a teddy bear?" I'm talking, of course, about The Little Vampire, a movie about a nuclear family of vampires that feed on cows, live in Scotland, and make friends with the little kid from Jerry Maguire.

In The Little Vampire, Jonathan Lipnicki plays Tony Thompson, recent émigré to the Highlands. Rather than go the traditional route for Scottish fantasy and pick up a wooden sword and proclaim, "There can be only one," Tony begins dreaming of vampires. Night after night, Tony's slumber is disturbed as he dreams of a rite being performed by a clan of vampires. What it means, Tony has no clue. So Tony simply does what any other eight-year old stereotyped by cinema does: Goes to mommy (Pamela Gidley) and daddy (Tommy Hinkley), sleeps in their bed for the night, and then gets ridiculed by everyone he knows for his "wild vampire fantasies" during the day.

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