Joseph Cross

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Arrives At The "Lincoln" Premiere At The AFI Fest At Graumans Chinese Theater In Los Angeles

Joseph Cross Thursday 8th November 2012 arrives at the "Lincoln" Premiere at the AFI Fest at Graumans Chinese Theater in Los Angeles

Joseph Cross
Joseph Cross and Grauman's Chinese Theatre
Joseph Cross and Grauman's Chinese Theatre
Joseph Cross and Grauman's Chinese Theatre

Shopping Together At The Grove In Hollywood

Joseph Cross and Anna Friel - Joseph Cross and Anna Friel Los Angeles, California - shopping together at The Grove in Hollywood Monday 22nd March 2010

Joseph Cross and Anna Friel
Anna Friel and Joseph Cross
Anna Friel and Joseph Cross
Anna Friel and Joseph Cross
Anna Friel and Joseph Cross
Anna Friel and Joseph Cross

New York Premiere Of 'Away We Go' At Sunshine Theatre

Joseph Cross Monday 1st June 2009 New York premiere of 'Away We Go' at Sunshine theatre New York City, USA

Joseph Cross
Joseph Cross

Opening Night After Party For The New Group's Mourning Becomes Electra: A Trilogy Held At Metro Marche

Joseph Cross Thursday 19th February 2009 Opening night after party for the new group's Mourning Becomes Electra: A Trilogy held at Metro Marche New York City, USA

Joseph Cross

Celebrities Attend A Press Conference To Educate Americans About The Epidemic Related To All Forms Of Brain Disease, Held At The Rayburn House Office Building

Joseph Cross and Sarah Roemer - Joseph Cross, Sarah Roemer Washington DC, USA - Celebrities attend a press conference to educate Americans about the epidemic related to all forms of brain disease, held at the Rayburn House Office Building Thursday 22nd May 2008

Joseph Cross and Sarah Roemer
Joseph Cross
Joseph Cross
Joseph Cross
Joseph Cross

Untraceable Review


Terrible
It would be wonderful if this review of the newest cyber-torture-stalker-thriller could begin with the words "Untraceable is unwatchable," but sadly that would be a lie. Our tastes have very simply become too degraded over the years for us not to have become used to it as studios have continued to shove out purposeless dreck like this. Call it a formula inoculation, as the films keep coming, with only the slightest noticeable tweaks to their dependable structure (as necessitated by the latest spasms in popular culture that allow a soupcon of relevancy to creep in), we very simply get used to it, no matter how awful.

And awful it is. In a desperate bid to glom on to the Internet's evergreen supposed hipness, the script (a lifeless accumulation of the expected by a trio of writers who really should know better) puts us inside an FBI cyber-crime unit where flint-eyed but tender-hearted agent Jennifer Marsh (Diane Lane) tracks down the worst of the online worst. Stirring from her bank of computer monitors only to get coffee or crack wise with fellow agent Griffin Dowd (Colin Hanks), Marsh is your prototypical wounded female cop with a young daughter and fretful mother at home, and a dead husband in her memory. (If her character had been male they'd have given her a bad temper and a drinking problem, but at least the sarcastic partner bit is gender neutral.) She gets put on the kind of case that (literally) only exists in the movies. Some psycho sets up a website called "Kill With Me" whose hook is that the more people view it, the quicker the subject on camera dies by some fiendish means. The first time out, it's a kitten; after that a person, and then another, and then another...

Continue reading: Untraceable Review

Running With Scissors Review


Weak
In a game effort to deflect the immediate suspicions of most viewers likely to be mistrustful of its all-too-convenient cast of wildly entertaining eccentrics, the young boy narrating Running with Scissors acknowledges, somewhat ruefully, early on that "nobody's going to believe me anyway." It's a smart maneuver, given what follows in this overly energetic adaptation of Augusten Burroughs' bestselling 2002 memoir about growing up in the 1970s with a mentally damaged mother who sent him off to be raised by her psychiatrist in his house of David Lynch-ian strangeness. As it stands, Running with Scissors is best taken as a literary memoir and not judged on its complete veracity but whether it works as a story of flawed people in an environment that seems to cater to all their worst impulses. It almost does.

The film opens in 1972, showing a young Augusten as an audience of one for his mother Deirdre's in-home poetry reading, microphone and all. The bilious, self-aggrandizing manner with which Deirdre (Annette Bening) gives her reading tells you pretty much all you need to know about the opinion she holds as to her place in the world and any who may disagree. Any remaining questions about her fitfulness as a mother are answered when the film jumps to its primary setting in the late '70s, where Deirdre has become a whirling dervish of arrogant fury and spite. Her obsessive belief that she is an important poet being kept from her rightful place at the center of the literary firmament drives away first Augusten's father (Alec Baldwin, lightly soused) and then Augusten, whom she decides would be better off living with her exceedingly unorthodox psychiatrist, Dr. Finch (Brian Cox). A devout and at least partially mad Freudian of the most unrecondite sort, Finch keeps a special room next to his doctor's office which he calls The Masturbatorium and divines the future from the shape of his bowel movements. Seemingly he's not much of a father figure.

Continue reading: Running With Scissors Review

Running With Scissors Trailer


From day one, Ryan Murphy has kept me involved. People had warned me, "Once you option your book, it's out of your hands." I was like, "Good. Go, take it away, make it pretty. Call me when I have to buy a tux." 

Continue: Running With Scissors Trailer

Running With Scissors Review


Weak
In a game effort to deflect the immediate suspicions of most viewers likely to be mistrustful of its all-too-convenient cast of wildly entertaining eccentrics, the young boy narrating Running with Scissors acknowledges, somewhat ruefully, early on that "nobody's going to believe me anyway." It's a smart maneuver, given what follows in this overly energetic adaptation of Augusten Burroughs' bestselling 2002 memoir about growing up in the 1970s with a mentally damaged mother who sent him off to be raised by her psychiatrist in his house of David Lynch-ian strangeness. As it stands, Running with Scissors is best taken as a literary memoir and not judged on its complete veracity but whether it works as a story of flawed people in an environment that seems to cater to all their worst impulses. It almost does.The film opens in 1972, showing a young Augusten as an audience of one for his mother Deirdre's in-home poetry reading, microphone and all. The bilious, self-aggrandizing manner with which Deirdre (Annette Bening) gives her reading tells you pretty much all you need to know about the opinion she holds as to her place in the world and any who may disagree. Any remaining questions about her fitfulness as a mother are answered when the film jumps to its primary setting in the late '70s, where Deirdre has become a whirling dervish of arrogant fury and spite. Her obsessive belief that she is an important poet being kept from her rightful place at the center of the literary firmament drives away first Augusten's father (Alec Baldwin, lightly soused) and then Augusten, whom she decides would be better off living with her exceedingly unorthodox psychiatrist, Dr. Finch (Brian Cox). A devout and at least partially mad Freudian of the most unrecondite sort, Finch keeps a special room next to his doctor's office which he calls The Masturbatorium and divines the future from the shape of his bowel movements. Seemingly he's not much of a father figure.Once it deposits the relatively colorless Augusten (Joseph Cross) in the house, the film throws an abundance of vivid characters at us, from Finch's pet-food-eating wife Agnes (Jill Clayburgh) to his daughters -- best described as the slutty one (Evan Rachel Wood) and the religious one (Gwyneth Paltrow) -- and the definitely insane son (Joseph Fiennes, uncomfortably bad) who starts an affair with the far-too-young Augusten. But the film is unable to make them much more than cartoon characters in Finch's filthy, falling-down house of oddities where dead cats receive full burials and pharmaceuticals are handed out like Pez.Writer/director Ryan Murphy (Nip/Tuck) knows that the material in his hands has the potential for humor, that queasy kind of if-you-don't-laugh-you'll-cry sort of funny which Burroughs uses as a coping device in his writing. What works in the book, however, comes off on film as shallow and mocking; we're laughing at these damaged people. Murphy scores too many scenes with well-worn and not terribly appropriate '70s pop chestnuts, playing it all for the easy punchline, making the film too often a shallow exercise in retro camp.There are, nevertheless, two reasons to see Running with Scissors, and they are Bening and Cox. Bening could well be accused of shamelessly going for the Oscar with her full-throttle and stage-clearing performance, but given the fearsomely focused pathos that results, it's hard to complain. Cox is as always the consummate professional who underplays as everyone else overplays, finding the sly humor and magisterial authority at the heart of his unapologetically crude patriarch. Although playing self-absorbed narcissists of the worst kind, given the half-formed caricatures flitting around them, Bening and Cox make their characters by far the film's most endearing; not a good sign for everyone else involved.And take your plate to the kitchen, too.

Strangers With Candy Review


Good

Amy Sedaris' Comedy Central series Strangers with Candy was an absurdist deconstruction of after school special conventions, following the wacky travails of 46-year-old ex-junkie, ex-con, ex-prostitute Jerri Blank (Sedaris) as she reentered high school as a freshman student. A potent cocktail of vulgarity, farcicality, and switchblade-sharp wordplay, the show was a mild cult hit for the then-fledging cable channel (as well as its first original live-action program), running for three brief seasons and eventually launching the career of Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report). Unceremoniously cancelled in 2000 just as it was hitting its ludicrous stride, Strangers with Candy seemed destined to become another footnote in television history, consigned to the same overlooked fate as Chris Elliot's Get a Life and Fox's recently canned Arrested Development. Until, that is, Sedaris and co-creators Colbert and Paul Dinello somehow convinced David Letterman's Worldwide Pants Inc. to produce a feature-length version of the disregarded pseudo-sitcom, which now arrives in theaters like a giant middle finger to every inspirational Hollywood melodrama that tries to argue that people can transform themselves for the better, hard work is rewarded, and heroin is bad.

Unfortunately, however, the cinematic Strangers with Candy - directed by Dinello, who also reprises his role as idiotic, effeminate art teacher Geoffrey Jellineck - only maintains its antagonistic inappropriateness long enough to fill out its first 45 minutes; after that, the tank runs pretty dry and the proceedings become akin to a mediocre TV episode in which plot, rather than scatological silliness, is the main focus. Its story is a prequel of sorts to the Comedy Central series. The film kicks off with a credit montage of Jerri's hilarious exploits in prison (murdering a fellow inmate, enjoying a shower with a naked female) before following her home, where she discovers her dad (Dan Hedaya) is in a coma, mom is dead and replaced by hateful stepmonster Sara (Deborah Rush), and she now has a loathsome jock half-brother named Derrick (Joseph Cross). When the family physician (played by Ian Holm!) suggests that Jerri might cure her father by trying to undo the past thirty-two years-worth of depraved behavior, she decides to enroll at Flatpoint High, where she finds herself both tussling with barely-in-the-closet science teacher Chuck Noblet (Colbert) and blissfully moronic principal Blackman (Gregory Holliman), and hanging out with friends Megawatti Sukharnabhoutri (Carlo Alban) and Iris Puffybush (Dolores Duffy).

Continue reading: Strangers With Candy Review

Wide Awake Review


Weak
Best known for dazzling us with The Sixth Sense, M. Night Shyamalan hit the big screen most recently with this perplexing dud, also about a kid with semi-mystical powers. Wide Awake is not nearly so fascinating as Sense, as it follows the story of a kid who misses his dead grandpa so much he seeks answers about grandpa's well-being from all the religions in the world. Not nearly as interesting as it could have been, Wide Awake quickly provokes yawns and smirks over its cutesy treatment of death.

The Spring Review


Grim
It's Tuck Everlasting -- but for grown-ups! Er, grown-ups who don't want much of a challenge from their TV movies.

In The Spring (tagline: "Live spelled backwards is evil.") Kyle MacLachlan stars as a hapless widower who, through an incredible series of unfortunate coincidences, ends up stranded in a town that just so happens to harbor a fountain of youth. Only all the residents agree to never leave the town and commit suicide on their 100th birthdays. The point of the youth serum is thus rendered irrelevant -- why live forever if it's not forever and it's in the podunkest town in the country?

Continue reading: The Spring Review

Jack Frost Review


Terrible
Not to be confused with the horror film of the same name, this Jack Frost is still so frightening I'd hesitate to put it before any child who ever plans to see a snowman. In this bizarre and god-awful tale, a conveniently-named Colorado blues singer (Colorado blues singer???) called Jack Frost (Keaton) gets his big break on Christmas Day and has to abandon his family to sign the record deal. Naturally, storm hits, car goes off road, Jack dies, and naturally he comes back to life as a snowman. He eats frozen vegetables and tries not to melt, while getting in some quality time with son Charlie (Cross), including hockey lessons with a tree branch. Hideous effects and a just-plain-bad premise make this one to stay away from.
Joseph Cross

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