U-571 takes the Das Boot path, starring a dozen of the sweatiest men in Hollywood (the makeup department working overtime on this one), all led by everyone's favorite naked bongo player, Matthew McConaughey. Loosely based on real events, U-571 involves a WWII mission to capture a German Enigma encryption device from a sinking German submarine adrift in the middle of the Atlantic. Skipper Bill Paxton and his 2nd in charge McConaughey hop to the task, dressing up their wreck of a sub to look just like a German U-boat. One guy on the crew speaks German, so there shouldn't be a problem in posing as a rescue ship, right?
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If you've seen The Vanishing (either one), you've essentially seen Breakdown. In this incarnation, Kurt Russell finds his wife (my nemesis Kathleen Quinlan) abducted by the brilliantly evil J.T. Walsh and gang, and a cruel conspiracy is revealed that is designed to separate the happy couple from the fortunes that -- it turns out -- they don't really have.
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American Thighs was released on this day in 1994.
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