John Phillip Law

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Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) Review


Terrible
Rightfully roasted as one of the worst films of all time, the 1981 reimagination of Tarzan the Ape Man proves that you can take Bo Derek to water, but you can't make her not get naked and play around in it.

I scarcely know where to start dissecting this debacle. The entire purpose of the movie is to show off Bo Derek's body. What happens en route to that is almost incidental. It certainly has nothing to do with the Tarzan story as we know it. Jane (Derek) heads to Africa to visit dad (poor, poor Richard Harris), who's on safari. Soon she encounters a beefcake guy with a waxed chest, and by the time they meet a second time she's encouraging him to grope her under her invariably wet shirt.

Continue reading: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) Review

Cq Review


OK

At once an homage to and a spoof of two signature styles of late 1960s cinema, "CQ" is an enjoyably eccentric entry into feature filmmaking by a writer-director who has the art form in his blood -- Roman Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola's son.

The title refers to an old Morse Code and ham radio signal sent to seek any kind of response ("seek you"), and it's reflective of the movie's main character. An ambivalent aspiring filmmaker (Jeremy Davies) seeking inspiration in 1969 Paris, he's torn between his desire to make a conceptual, black-and-white New Wave art film and his day job editing a studio's cheesy, sexploitive "Barbarella"-like B-movie.

Gritting his teeth over silly science fiction by day, he spends his nights locked in his bathroom, burning through miles of "borrowed" film on rambling autobiographic monologues while his live-in girlfriend frets in frustration. Davies' dilemma comes to a head when the manic director of the sexy sci-fi flick (played with comedic panache by Gerard Depardieu) is fired over creative differences.

Continue reading: Cq Review

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Cq Movie Review

Cq Movie Review

At once an homage to and a spoof of two signature styles of late 1960s...

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