Maddy (Panabaker) is back home in Arizona from grad school, working in the water park she owns with her breast-obsessed stepdad Chet (Koechner). But after the Lake Victoria disaster, prehistoric piranhas have migrated here, drawn to the park's chlorine. After consulting with wild-haired expert Goodman (Lloyd), Maddy tries to avert disaster with the help of deputy Kyle (Zylka) and nice-guy Barry (Bush), who are rivals for her affections. But as the summer launch party nears, Chet refuses to close the park.
Continue reading: Piranha 3DD Review
It's a shame, too, because computer-centric horror is usually a good bet for ridiculousness. Here, the computer stuff isn't detailed enough to really bug the geeks; they'll be too busy pointing out how the movie's screenplay could be improved, and how Kristen Bell takes one of the most disappointing baths in horror history.
Continue reading: Pulse (2006) Review
Alas, it doesn't look good. Bill and Ted are walking mistakes as it is. They can't pronounce Socrates and believe Caeser was "a salad dressing dude." But their grasp of superlative adjectives like triumphant and gnarly is impressive indeed, so maybe there's hope.
Continue reading: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure Review
The latest installment in this "Wes Craven Presents..." series of vampire tales, Dracula III continues the saga of the mysterious, once-bitten Father Vincent Uffizi (Jason Scott Lee) and his wise-cracking sidekick Luke (Jason London), as they head deep into the Romanian forest to kill Dracula once and for all, and to rescue Joe's girlfriend Elizabeth (Law and Order SVU's Diane Neal), who turned into a bloodsucker in a sexy red dress in the last movie.
Continue reading: Dracula Iii: Legacy Review
Much to our chagrin.
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Now on a direct-to-video shelf near you, Dracula II bears no real relation to its predecessor, namely in that it has none of the same cast and nothing to do with the former story, except that there's a vampire in it.
Continue reading: Dracula II: Ascension Review
Mimic 2 isn't an embarrassing rental. It's about as good as any movie about a giant, mutant cockroach can be expected to be. There are a few entertaining moments, some neat scenery to enjoy, and Jon Polito and Edward Albert are both in it. If that last piece of information doesn't make you want run to the video store with heart-pounding glee, then I don't know what will.
Continue reading: Mimic 2 Review
And it's got all of those earmarks of just about every Dracula, a director no one has heard of (Craven just bankrolled it), a series of barely recognizable actors, and a feeling of having been shelved for about four years... oh yeah, and a bunch of religious undertones so the crew can work through their theological schizophrenia a la Anne Rice.
Continue reading: Dracula 2000 Review
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