Joel Simon

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin stars as Jack Conrad, an American on death row for murder in El Salvador. Without notice, he's flown to Papua New Guinea and dropped on a remote island along with nine other condemned prisoners. They're each wearing an explosive device on their ankles. If they tamper with it or pull the attached red tab, it will explode.

Continue reading: The Condemned Review

From then on in, See No Evil is set in a burned-out gilded age hotel cramped full of county lockup coed cons from the Jaded Age. They are briefly introduced in camera flashes of name and crime, and about 15 to 30 seconds covering the stereotype they fall into. There's the kleptomaniac yuppie, the hacker, the two aggravated assaults with hearts of gold, the two drug dealers/ex lovers (apparently there was some domestic violence, but not enough for the beater to not come back for the ex later on), one of whom has now succumbed to the prison charms of the aggravated assault female.

Continue reading: See No Evil Review

My sentiments exactly, pal. The Federal Reserve couldn't pay you enough to sit through Technicolor gobbledygook like this. Dante has a technical feat on his hand, crafting a vigorous cartoon hybrid that seamlessly merges beloved Warner Bros. animated characters with unlucky C-list actors who apparently made their agents very angry and are being punished.

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