Maybe I'm just a little wimp who can't stand bad movies... but shouldn't I get hazard pay for seeing a movie this bad? [No. -Ed.] I'm symptomatic. This movie should come with a warning - this movie will cause nausea, boredom, the general feeling of constipation and a headache by banging your head against the seat in front of you about 1000 times.

The auteur debut of gothic icon Rob Zombie (think Puff Daddy in metal and with talent), I wasn't really hoping for much with House of 1000 Corpses -- schlock horror was anticipated and would have even been enjoyed -- but this is just ridiculous. House of 1000 Corpses is perhaps the most un-scary "scary movie" I've ever seen. It's not funny. It's not even really that interesting to look at.

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