Jeffrey Abrams

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Regarding Henry Review


Grim
Regarding Henry is a sappy three-hankie weeper masquerading as an updated and hip story about a yuppie struggling to find his inner child. That's not much of a choice for any movie to offer. Released in 1991 as a heartwarming, Hollywood tearjerker, writer Jeffrey Abrams and director Mike Nichols seem to have consciously removed the basic passions from that classic genre by recycling a load of sentimental plots, piling on the mushy scenes, and handing out a conventional TV-movie-of-the-week.

Henry (Harrison Ford) is a typical bad father and no-good husband. An overworked, big-shot lawyer idolized by his co-workers (he's the money guy), he's hated by his wife (Annette Bening) and teenage daughter (Mikki Allen). Why? Well, as far as I can tell, when his daughter spills orange juice he's real strict in punishing her, he never holds his wife's hand in public, and he won't buy his daughter a puppy. The movie doesn't much show or explain this side of Henry's personality, so I guess it's a given that he's an all-around, self-obsessed, insensitive jerk. As these plots go, Henry needs to get his priorities straight; he's due for a knockdown, a comeuppance.

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The Pallbearer Review


OK
If you haven't been beaten over the head enough with news of the grand entrance of Friend David Schwimmer into the world of film, here's a little more!

Schwimmer's first outing, The Pallbearer, doesn't venture too far from the Friends tree, as we are presented with a big romantic comedy that borders on television kitschiness, full of screwball humor and plenty of misunderstandings to fuel the plot. In fact, the entire premise of The Pallbearer is driven by one big misunderstanding itself: Tom Thompson (Schwimmer) is asked to give the eulogy at the funeral of Bill Abernathy, a guy from high school who he doesn't even remember. (While The Eulogist might have been a more appropriate title, I figure a name like The Pallbearer will confuse enough stupid American moviegoers anyway.)

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Armageddon Review


Weak
Relatively silly and far too long disaster movie, with a gang of unruly oil drillers sent to dig an 800-foot hole on an asteroid, drop a nuke down the hole, and get the heck home, before earth is destroyed. About like it sounds -- also, somebody please boot Liv Tyler off the planet before her acting hurts somebody.

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Jeffrey Abrams

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