1999 oscars Interview

In an ideal world, this is how the 1999 Oscars would shake out

In an ideal world, this is how the 1999 Oscars would shake out

It's March 26, 2000, and in a bloodless coup d'état, your not-so-humble critic has overthrown the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. The Oscar telecast has begun, and after popping Billy Crystal with a tranquilizer dart, it's time to begin handing out Academy Awards to the movies, filmmakers and actors that really deserve them!

Evil minions, hold back the rabid studio heads! Here we go:

BEST PICTURE
  "Run Lola Run"

BEST DIRECTOR
  Spike Jonze, "Being John Malkovich"

BEST ACTOR
  Kevin Spacey, "American Beauty"
  Runner up: Denzel Washington, "The Hurricane"

BEST ACTRESS
  Reese Witherspoon, "Election"
  Runners up:
   Hilary Swank, "Boys Don't Cry"
   Jessica Lange, "Titus"

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
  Haley Joel Osment, "The Sixth Sense"
  Runner up: John Malkovich, "Being John Malkovich"

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
  Jean Smart, "Guinevere"
  Runners up:
   Vanessa Redgrave, "Cradle Will Rock"
   Thora Birch, "American Beauty"

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
  "Being John Malkovich," Charlie Kaufman

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
  "The Iron Giant," Brad Bird
  Runner up: "Election," Alexander Payne

BEST EDITING
  "Run Lola Run"
  Runners up:
   "Bringing Out the Dead"
   "Fight Club"

BEST ART DIRECTION
  "Titus"

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
  "Titus"
  Runners up:
   "Snow Falling On Cedars"
   "Bringing Out the Dead"
   "The Insider"

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
  Ann Roth & Gary Jones,
"The Talented Mr. Ripley"

BEST MAKEUP
  "Sleepy Hollow"

BEST FOREIGN FILM
  "Open Your Eyes"
  (since "Lola" was my Best Picture)

BEST DOCUMENTARY
  Missed too many for a legit pick, but "American Movie" was fantastic.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
  "The Matrix"

BEST SOUND DESIGN
  "Any Given Sunday"

BEST SOUND EFFECTS EDITING
  "The Phantom Menace"

BEST DRAMATIC SCORE
  Gabriel Yared, "Talented Mr. Ripley"

BEST MUSICAL/COMEDY SCORE
  John Powell, "Forces of Nature"

BEST SONG
  "Uncle F**ker," "South Park"
Normally I ignore this category, because, frankly, it's a bunch of nonsense that has nothing to do with movies. But this ditty is such a masterfully fun combo of irreverence and maddening catchiness that, like it or not, everyone who saw this movie caught themselves humming it for days afterwards.
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