George Gallo

George Gallo

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My Mom's New Boyfriend Review


Grim
Grown-up son living at home becomes angry and frustrated when his mom brings a new guy into the picture. Wait, didn't I just see this movie? Literally, a week ago?

Turns out My Mom's New Boyfriend has some differences with Mama's Boy, though it sticks closely to the overall shoddy quality level. This time out it's not a straight-up case of a son feeling betrayed. Writer/director George Gallo (DysFunktional Family) throws in a crime caper too. Henry (Colin Hanks) hasn't seen Mom (Meg Ryan) in three years due to his undercover duties as an FBI agent. When he returns home with a fiancee (Selma Blair), he finds that Mom hasn't just lost hundreds of pounds, she's also turned into a raving sexual lunatic, too. No sooner has Henry made his old bed than Mom gets mixed up with Tommy (Antonio Banderas), a known art thief... who Henry's been assigned to spy on!

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Code Name: The Cleaner Review


Unbearable
New high tech gaming systems -- Wii and PS3 -- are in such high demand that people are willing to wait outside of retailers at all hours of the night just to get their hands on one. The scenario is much the same in Code Name: The Cleaner, where everyone is trying to get their hands on the X-1. But this system does more than just play games. It's actually capable of creating real life destruction on a massive scale, and the government has resorted to violence to get it.

At the center of all of the bedlam surrounding the X-1 is an ordinary Joe named Jake (Cedric the Entertainer). One morning he wakes up in a hotel room next to a dead FBI agent and a briefcase full of money. Jake's got amnesia. Though he has no idea how he got there, a couple of hot-looking women seem to have an idea. The voluptuous Diane (Nicolette Sheridan) claims to be Jake's wife and helps him elude the authorities. Diane takes him to a sprawling mansion that she claims he owns and tries desperately, even stripping down to her bare essentials, to jog his cluttered memory. Even though we know as little as Jake, it's clear that Diane is up to no good.

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Double Take Review


Unbearable
New year, new pile of movies straight from the Hollywood dumping ground of badly test-screened, obscure, unfunny, and badly acted garbage. Double Take is the first pony out of the gate. I don't know which is the worst part of the film: Eddie Griffin's overacting, Orlando Jones' non-acting, or the ugly mutt that passes as Griffin's sidekick.

Orlando Jones does a better job in those 7-Up commercials than in the role of Darryl Chase, an uptight investment banker set up by a combination of the CIA, the FBI, a Mexican drug cartel, the Federales, and an emu farmer as part of a double murder/embezzlement scheme. Running from the law, Chase changes clothes and identity with Freddy Tiffany, a two-bit hustler named played by Eddie Griffin he encounters on the street. Together, the pair travel across the country to Mexico, where a certain CIA agent holds the key to Chase's freedom. And of course, during the journey, Darryl Chase rediscovers his roots as a black man while Freddy Tiffany shucks and jives his way through every situation like he's the bastard son of Eddie Murphy and Jerry Lewis.

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The Whole Ten Yards Review


Unbearable
The Whole Ten Yards is an awful movie. And yet, as bad as it is, I think I may have learned something from it. According to Bruce Willis's Jimmy Tudeski, every car built since 1985 has a trunk release! Did you know that? Of course, that bit of information may actually be BS. And in the context of this movie, it wouldn't surprise me. This lame sequel to the original hit is about as witless as Jimmy's nutty automotive gibberish.

In the sequel to the sleeper hit The Whole Nine Yards, Jimmy has abandoned his hit-man lifestyle and is enjoying retirement with his new wife Jill (Amanda Peet) in their quiet Baja hideout. He's content sharpening his Martha Stewart homemaking skills by cooking pot roasts, caring for his pet chickens, and cleaning house. But this way of life doesn't work for Jill. She wants to reprise her husband's previous life, and desires nothing more than to shoot a worthy piece of ass. Meanwhile, back in the states, Jimmy's former neighbor, Oz Oseransky (Matthew Perry) has relocated to Los Angeles where his dental practice and marriage to Jimmy's ex-wife Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge) appears to be thriving.

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Trapped in Paradise Review


Weak
Not really a Christmas classic but at least it's a Christmas movie... with Nicolas Cage trying to do funny as one of three bumbling brothers -- Jon Lovitz and Dana Carvey -- robbing a small town that's just way too friendly. Carvey mistakes a funny voice for his character, and Lovitz, well, he's just being Lovitz. Harmless and totally familiar, it's better than static and informercials, but that's about the sum of it.
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