U-571

"Good"

U-571 Review


It's finally time to reassess the submarine movie to see if it's outlived its useful life. I was skeptical enough when Crimson Tide came out in 1995, feeling like a knockoff of The Hunt for Red October, itself an homage to Das Boot, it something of an homage to Run Silent, Run Deep. They even made Down Periscope, which four years of therapy have not helped me to forget.

U-571 takes the Das Boot path, starring a dozen of the sweatiest men in Hollywood (the makeup department working overtime on this one), all led by everyone's favorite naked bongo player, Matthew Mcconaughey. Loosely based on real events, U-571 involves a WWII mission to capture a German Enigma encryption device from a sinking German submarine adrift in the middle of the Atlantic. Skipper Bill Paxton and his 2nd in charge McConaughey hop to the task, dressing up their wreck of a sub to look just like a German U-boat. One guy on the crew speaks German, so there shouldn't be a problem in posing as a rescue ship, right?

The recovery goes as planned but, uh-oh, the Germans catch them in the act and sink the American sub. McConaughey, with his commander dead, decides to lead the surviving skeleton crew to take over the badly damaged U-boat and try to escape the big bad Nazis on their tail.

Just describing the plot gets me juiced about the action in U-571. There are plenty of real thrills and enough Navy jargon to make any war-happy moviegoer perk up in his seat. Truly, U-571 is a fun movie, much like Crimson Tide. But... there is a catch.

The problem is that U-571 is so overwhelmingly contrived that suspension of disbelief is nearly impossible. It's bad enough when we see the Nazis shoot up a rowboat full of survivors because of "orders from Der Fuhrer," just so we know it's okay to kill the Germans later in the film. But what of the later hushed conversation, when a grim-faced officer proclaims that there must be no survivors if a dangerous plan goes awry, because the Germans will torture them all without mercy? Anything to get the audience on your side, huh?

There's the usual "take the boat below the most remotely imaginable depth" scene. There's a prisoner to contend with. There's all that "down bubble" talk. There are implorations to be silent. The usual sub clichés are all here, except they never "bottom 'er out on the ocean floor."

But the icing on the cake is when McConaughey and his crew are on the run from the enormous destroyer, dropping dozens of depth charges, shooting torpedoes, firing cannons... and nothing seems to hurt this ship! U-571 is apparently some kind of German superboat! It's amazing it was damaged in the first place! Pretty soon, you'll probably grow tired of watching explosion after explosion do absolutely nothing to the sub, and then the thrills of U-571 will quickly fade.

Sorry Hollywood, it's time to put the sub movie in dry dock. At least until the next World War.

Dive dive dive!



U-571

Facts and Figures

Run time: 116 mins

In Theaters: Friday 21st April 2000

Box Office Worldwide: $127.7M

Budget: $62M

Distributed by: Universal Studios Home Video

Production compaines: Canal Plus, Universal Pictures, Dino De Laurentiis Company

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 3 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 68%
Fresh: 78 Rotten: 37

IMDB: 6.6 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Lt. Andrew Tyler, as Lt. Cmdr. Mike Dahlgren, as CPO Henry Klough, as Lt. Pete Emmett, as Maj. Matthew Coonen, as Capt. Lt. Gunther Wassner, as Lt. Hirsch, as Bill Wentz, as Ted Trigger Fitzgerald, as Ronald Rabbit Parker, Terrence 'T.C.' Carson as Steward Eddie Carson

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Murder on the Orient Express Movie Review

Murder on the Orient Express Movie Review

The latest adaptation of Agatha Christie's 83-year-old classic whodunit, this lavish, star-studded film is old-style...

Paddington 2 Movie Review

Paddington 2 Movie Review

The first Paddington movie in 2014 is already such a beloved classic that it's hard...

A Bad Moms Christmas Movie Review

A Bad Moms Christmas Movie Review

Everyone's back from last year's undemanding adult comedy, plus some starry new cast members, for...

Brawl in Cell Block 99 Movie Review

Brawl in Cell Block 99 Movie Review

Filmmaker S. Craig Zahler brought a blast of offbeat creativity to the Western genre two...

The Death of Stalin Movie Review

The Death of Stalin Movie Review

Fans of the film In the Loop and the TV series Veep will definitely not...

Call Me By Your Name Movie Review

Call Me By Your Name Movie Review

Set in northern Italy in the summer of 1983, this internationally flavoured drama is a...

Thor: Ragnarok Movie Review

Thor: Ragnarok Movie Review

The most riotously enjoyable Marvel movie yet, this action epic benefits hugely from the decision...

Advertisement
Breathe Movie Review

Breathe Movie Review

While this biopic has the standard sumptuous production values of a British period drama, it's...

The Snowman Movie Review

The Snowman Movie Review

With a cast and crew packed with A-list talent, this film seems like it should...

The Party Movie Review

The Party Movie Review

Comedies don't get much darker than this pitch-black British movie, written and directed by Sally...

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Movie Review

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Movie Review

Noah Baumbach (Frances Ha) is on his way to becoming the new Woody Allen, which...

6 Below Movie Review

6 Below Movie Review

Based on an astonishing true survival story, this film is subtitled "Miracle on the Mountain",...

Mother Movie Review

Mother Movie Review

Darren Aronofsky doesn't make fluffy movies, and has only had one genuine misfire (2014's Noah)....

Blade Runner 2049 Movie Review

Blade Runner 2049 Movie Review

It's been 35 years since Ridley Scott's 1982 sci-fi classic, which was set in 2019....

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.