The Ranch

"OK"

The Ranch Review


Anyone who's ever seen any documentary footage of real Nevada brothels (or has been to one personally -- hey, we don't judge), knows that the ladies that typically work there are hardly mistakable for Hollywood starlets.

Never mind that. If you're willing to suspend disbelief -- completely and utterly -- you might find The Ranch a curious diversion.

Finding information about The Ranch is a bit tricky -- and given the presence of reasonably big star Amy Madigan and director Susan Seidelman (Desperately Seeking Susan), there's a small amount of credibility here. It appears that Madigan was meant to anchor this not as a movie but as a TV series for HBO or Showtime (based on the copious amount of nudity and the setting, seeing as it's set in a brothel and all). The show didn't make it, so rather than drop the footage into the dumpster, the producers figured they'd release it as a 90-minute "movie" on DVD. The result is a film that feels an awful lot like a long TV show -- with no real closure to any of the half-dozen stories it starts up with.

The two fleshiest stories revolve around one hooker (Samantha Ferris) who is retiring to get married, only that doesn't go as planned, and a bit about a former Hollywood actress (Nicki Micheaux) run out of town and forced into prostitution as a last resort. The remainder of the gals at the Diamond Ranch get small stories of their own, from the business-is-business madam (Madigan) to the raunchy lady in the schoolgirl outfit (Paige Moss) to the slightly older divorcee (Jessica Collins) who has to balance social engagements (and the inevitable spotting of a client away from the ranch) and motherhood with, well, screwing guys for money. Every girl (sans Madigan) has her day in the bedroom: Those looking for cheesecake have come to the right place, especially with the unrated version of the DVD.

The film/show is well-acted and shows some promise -- it's something a lot of people might have watched as a regular series, though no one would have admitted it. Unfortunately, as a movie, the whole affair is a bit cockeyed, and it just doesn't come off like a movie. Still, considering they put My Big Fat Greek Life on DVD, you could do worse than checking out this aborted TV series on home video, as long as you treat it as such.



The Ranch

Facts and Figures

Run time: 90 mins

In Theaters: Monday 5th July 2004

Distributed by: MGM Home Entertainment

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 3 / 5

IMDB: 5.1 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Shayna, as Kim, as Taylor, as Velvet

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Zoolander 2 Movie Review

Zoolander 2 Movie Review

With virtually the same blend of wit and idiocy as the 2001 original, this fashion-scene...

A Bigger Splash Movie Review

A Bigger Splash Movie Review

Italian filmmaker Luca Guadagnino (I Am Love) reteams with Tilda Swinton for this fresh, tricky...

Deadpool Movie Review

Deadpool Movie Review

Both the filmmakers and the characters on-screen are so pleased with themselves that this might...

Trumbo Movie Review

Trumbo Movie Review

An entertaining film about sobering true events, this is the story of notorious screenwriter Dalton...

Goosebumps Movie Review

Goosebumps Movie Review

Mixing the action, comedy and horror from novelist R.L. Stein's books into a family-friendly package,...

Dad's Army Movie Review

Dad's Army Movie Review

The beloved 1970s British sit-com gets the big screen treatment, although there's been very little...

Spotlight Movie Review

Spotlight Movie Review

This film demonstrates that you don't need guns to make an exciting thriller. Based on...

Advertisement
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi Movie Review

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi Movie Review

Not the subtlest director working in Hollywood, Michael Bay brings his surging machismo to this...

Dirty Grandpa Movie Review

Dirty Grandpa Movie Review

There's nothing clever about this deliberately rude and vulgar comedy, but certain audiences will find...

The Big Short Movie Review

The Big Short Movie Review

Smart and snappy, this comedy is one of the scariest films of the year, using...

The 5th Wave Movie Review

The 5th Wave Movie Review

Also based on the first in a trilogy of post-apocalyptic teen novels, this thriller feels...

Ride Along 2 Movie Review

Ride Along 2 Movie Review

Ice Cube and Kevin Hart reteam for a sequel no one really asked for, following...

Room Movie Review

Room Movie Review

One of the most extraordinary films of the year, this drama cleverly weaves in events...

Creed Movie Review

Creed Movie Review

While this film is basically Rocky VII, it's also much more than that, and perhaps...

A Perfect Day Movie Review

A Perfect Day Movie Review

An irreverent comedy in the style of the original M.A.S.H., this wartime romp takes an...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.