SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2

"Terrible"

SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 Review


There's already talk about SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 being one of the worst movies of all time. I can't make that claim, but it is one of the saddest movies I've ever seen. The concept of dressing up toddlers and tykes in super hero costumes, dubbing their voices, moving their lips to talk, and having them beating up bad guys... well, the whole affair made me feel like I was privy to some fetishist's fantasy sprung to life. The movie is creepy, unoriginal (remember Look Who's Talking?), and bare of any real human emotion, so the prior thought seems even more valid.

I felt sorry for the kids onscreen, who one day will be hiding this film among those dark secrets of the soul that we read about in great novels. And I felt really sorry for Jon Voight. He was one of the 1960s and 1970s signature actors, and in 2004 he's getting repeatedly kicked in the face by a seven-year-old. Does he need money? If you or I wrote a movie, could we get Voight to participate for $100 and unlimited runs to the craft services table? Someone should write him a letter or send him flowers. He's a good actor and he's starring in the sequel to Baby Geniuses with Chachi? Something is very, very wrong here.

Voight and the film's other two notable stars, Scott Baio and Vanessa Angel (Kingpin), are the only adult leads in this movie. The majority of the cast features four babies, pals at a day care center run by Baio and Angel, who can actually communicate with each other and perform adult tasks better than most filmcritic.com staff members. Voight, fashioning a ridiculous German accent, plays a TV mogul who wants to control children's thoughts through his new television station. The babies meet up with a legendary super kid (named, for no real reason, Kahuna) to stop Voight, who is Kahuna's longtime enemy.

Just so you know, the proceeding paragraph is the actual plot.

SuperBabies has no redeeming qualities. Adults are portrayed as mean, ignorant, or unloving. The babies are all cute, but they're shuffled about in a constant attempt to get the audience to ooh and aah. Half-baked lessons about confidence and believing in yourself are thrown around to give the impression that the movie has substance. You get subplots that are either lame or unresolved.

And when the babies open their mouths, the movie reaches another level of horror and becomes the absolute antithesis of everything good about childhood. The voices sound either robotic or overly rehearsed, and whatever comes out of the babies' mouths sounds clichéd and overwritten (the babies talk about abandonment issues). The one era of childhood that's pure and full of discovery is depicted as time of kicking ass, taking names, and dressing like a beauty pageant freak.

The most troubling thing about SuperBabies is that it shouldn't have happened. The movie's director, Bob Clark, brought us A Christmas Story, that rare classic that kids and adults both love. I'd love to know what happened, and how he could oversee such a joyless movie (as well as the original and equally reviled Baby Geniuses) 21 years later. Maybe Jon Voight isn't the only person we need to write a letter to.

Aka Super Babies.

Watch out, Batman.



SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2

Facts and Figures

Run time: 88 mins

In Theaters: Friday 27th August 2004

Box Office USA: $9.0M

Box Office Worldwide: $9.1M

Distributed by: Sony Pictures Entertainment

Production compaines: Triumph Films, Crystal Sky Worldwide

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

IMDB: 1.9 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Producer:

Starring: as Bill Biscane / Kane, as Stan Bobbins, as Jean Bobbins, as Kylie, as Zack, as Crowe

Also starring: ,

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Imperium Movie Review

Imperium Movie Review

First-time filmmaker Daniel Ragussis takes an unusual approach to this thriller. Since it's based on...

The Girl With All the Gifts Movie Review

The Girl With All the Gifts Movie Review

Like a 10-years-later follow-up to 28 Days Later, this small British thriller takes a refreshingly...

The Magnificent Seven Movie Review

The Magnificent Seven Movie Review

Director Antoine Fuqua brings his usual fascination with violence to this remake of the iconic...

Bridget Jones's Baby Movie Review

Bridget Jones's Baby Movie Review

As it's been 12 years since the last Bridget Jones movie, expectations aren't too high...

The Beatles: Eight Days a Week - The Touring Years Movie Review

The Beatles: Eight Days a Week - The Touring Years Movie Review

A-list director Ron Howard worked with the surviving Beatles to assemble this engaging documentary, which...

Blair Witch Movie Review

Blair Witch Movie Review

It's been 17 years since The Blair Witch Project shook up the cinema and created...

Anthropoid Movie Review

Anthropoid Movie Review

Outside the Czech Republic, few people know about Operation Anthropoid, a spy mission in 1943...

Advertisement
Kubo and the Two Strings Movie Review

Kubo and the Two Strings Movie Review

From Laika (The Boxtrolls), this is one of the most beautiful, sophisticated animated films in...

Captain Fantastic Movie Review

Captain Fantastic Movie Review

An offbeat comedy-drama with a timely kick, this charming family road trip takes on some...

Hell or High Water Movie Review

Hell or High Water Movie Review

Sicario screenwriter Taylor Sheridan delivers another fiercely intelligent, engaging story that maintains high suspense while...

The 9th Life of Louis Drax Movie Review

The 9th Life of Louis Drax Movie Review

With heavy overtones of Hitchcockian mystery and intrigue, this stylish thriller is the enjoyably melodramatic...

Kickboxer: Vengeance Movie Review

Kickboxer: Vengeance Movie Review

The 1989 Muay Thai action movie Kickboxer starred a young Jean-Claude Van Damme, who pops...

Julieta Movie Review

Julieta Movie Review

Iconic Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodovar is back with another powerfully complex female-centred drama, along the...

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping Movie Review

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping Movie Review

An astute satire of the pop music business, this raucous mock-documentary is consistently hilarious from...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.