Starfire Mutiny

"Terrible"

Starfire Mutiny Review


Per the Starfire Mutiny - Advertising Materials for Newspaper Reproduction flyer I was sent, this is the story of the film:

Deep space.An escaped convict, General Swann, and his band of mercenaries have seized control of a giant "Colony" ship orbiting a dead planet. The ship's cargo: tens of thousands of men, women, and children, frozen in suspended animation.Soon, a once-in-a-century solar flare will power a ring of satellites which will render the hostile planet habitable.The children of the dying earth will awaken, and the endangered human race will thrive again.Unless... Swann destroys them first.Now only the ship's few remaining crew members stand between humankind's salvation -- and its destruction.

If this makes any sense to you, by all means, run -- don't walk -- and buy as many copies of Starfire Mutiny as you can carry. Put aside the puzzling wrongness of the description (the "dead planet" is the earth, an earth orbit is not classified as "deep space," and how on earth a solar flare will power a "ring of satellites" -- led by the Hubble telescope(!) -- to "re-ionize the atmosphere" is totally beyond me).

Yes, put all that aside. Also try to ignore the atrocious acting, the nonsensical plot, and the plastic sets. Forget the firepower which never seems to hit anything. Get past the fact that these super-futuristic spaceships use present-day CD-ROM drives, which whine as if they're dying while they spit out their cargo. Put it all aside.

With what's left, you're going to have one hell of a good time. Promise.



Starfire Mutiny

Facts and Figures

Run time: 94 mins

In Theaters: Tuesday 24th September 2002

Distributed by: Monarch Home Video

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

IMDB: 3.0 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: Lloyd A. Simandl

Producer: Lloyd A. Simandl

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Murder on the Orient Express Movie Review

Murder on the Orient Express Movie Review

The latest adaptation of Agatha Christie's 83-year-old classic whodunit, this lavish, star-studded film is old-style...

Paddington 2 Movie Review

Paddington 2 Movie Review

The first Paddington movie in 2014 is already such a beloved classic that it's hard...

A Bad Moms Christmas Movie Review

A Bad Moms Christmas Movie Review

Everyone's back from last year's undemanding adult comedy, plus some starry new cast members, for...

Brawl in Cell Block 99 Movie Review

Brawl in Cell Block 99 Movie Review

Filmmaker S. Craig Zahler brought a blast of offbeat creativity to the Western genre two...

The Death of Stalin Movie Review

The Death of Stalin Movie Review

Fans of the film In the Loop and the TV series Veep will definitely not...

Call Me By Your Name Movie Review

Call Me By Your Name Movie Review

Set in northern Italy in the summer of 1983, this internationally flavoured drama is a...

Thor: Ragnarok Movie Review

Thor: Ragnarok Movie Review

The most riotously enjoyable Marvel movie yet, this action epic benefits hugely from the decision...

Advertisement
Breathe Movie Review

Breathe Movie Review

While this biopic has the standard sumptuous production values of a British period drama, it's...

The Snowman Movie Review

The Snowman Movie Review

With a cast and crew packed with A-list talent, this film seems like it should...

The Party Movie Review

The Party Movie Review

Comedies don't get much darker than this pitch-black British movie, written and directed by Sally...

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Movie Review

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Movie Review

Noah Baumbach (Frances Ha) is on his way to becoming the new Woody Allen, which...

6 Below Movie Review

6 Below Movie Review

Based on an astonishing true survival story, this film is subtitled "Miracle on the Mountain",...

Mother Movie Review

Mother Movie Review

Darren Aronofsky doesn't make fluffy movies, and has only had one genuine misfire (2014's Noah)....

Blade Runner 2049 Movie Review

Blade Runner 2049 Movie Review

It's been 35 years since Ridley Scott's 1982 sci-fi classic, which was set in 2019....

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.