Starfire Mutiny

"Terrible"

Starfire Mutiny Review


Per the Starfire Mutiny - Advertising Materials for Newspaper Reproduction flyer I was sent, this is the story of the film:

Deep space.An escaped convict, General Swann, and his band of mercenaries have seized control of a giant "Colony" ship orbiting a dead planet. The ship's cargo: tens of thousands of men, women, and children, frozen in suspended animation.Soon, a once-in-a-century solar flare will power a ring of satellites which will render the hostile planet habitable.The children of the dying earth will awaken, and the endangered human race will thrive again.Unless... Swann destroys them first.Now only the ship's few remaining crew members stand between humankind's salvation -- and its destruction.

If this makes any sense to you, by all means, run -- don't walk -- and buy as many copies of Starfire Mutiny as you can carry. Put aside the puzzling wrongness of the description (the "dead planet" is the earth, an earth orbit is not classified as "deep space," and how on earth a solar flare will power a "ring of satellites" -- led by the Hubble telescope(!) -- to "re-ionize the atmosphere" is totally beyond me).

Yes, put all that aside. Also try to ignore the atrocious acting, the nonsensical plot, and the plastic sets. Forget the firepower which never seems to hit anything. Get past the fact that these super-futuristic spaceships use present-day CD-ROM drives, which whine as if they're dying while they spit out their cargo. Put it all aside.

With what's left, you're going to have one hell of a good time. Promise.



Starfire Mutiny

Facts and Figures

Run time: 94 mins

In Theaters: Tuesday 24th September 2002

Distributed by: Monarch Home Video

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

IMDB: 3.0 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: Lloyd A. Simandl

Producer: Lloyd A. Simandl

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

After the thunderous reception for J.J. Abrams' Episode VII: The Force Awakens two years ago,...

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Like the 2015 original, this comedy plays merrily with cliches to tell a silly story...

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

There's a somewhat contrived jauntiness to this blending of fact and fiction that may leave...

Ferdinand Movie Review

Ferdinand Movie Review

This animated comedy adventure is based on the beloved children's book, which was published in...

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Director Dave McCary makes a superb feature debut with this offbeat black comedy, which explores...

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

A dramatisation of the real-life clash between tennis icons Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs,...

Shot Caller Movie Review

Shot Caller Movie Review

There isn't much subtlety to this prison thriller, but it's edgy enough to hold the...

Advertisement
The Disaster Artist Movie Review

The Disaster Artist Movie Review

A hilariously outrageous story based on real events, this film recounts the making of the...

Stronger Movie Review

Stronger Movie Review

Based on a true story about the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, this looks like one...

Only the Brave Movie Review

Only the Brave Movie Review

Based on a genuinely moving true story, this film undercuts the realism by pushing its...

Wonder Movie Review

Wonder Movie Review

This film may be based on RJ Palacio's fictional bestseller, but it approaches its story...

Happy End  Movie Review

Happy End Movie Review

Austrian auteur Michael Haneke isn't known for his light touch, but rather for hard-hitting, award-winning...

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Seemingly from out of nowhere, this film generates perhaps the biggest smile of any movie...

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

A Victorian thriller with rather heavy echoes of Jack the Ripper, this film struggles to...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.