Slaves of the Realm Review
By Christopher Null
If Slaves of the Realm sounds just a little bit like porn, that's because it is. Just a little bit.
You might consider as well its original title: Chained Sinners: Medieval Fleshpots. I expect that clears up a lot of the confusion.
Rena Mero (aka "Sable" from the WWE) stars as the only chick who doesn't get naked in this medieval romp through virgin sacrifices and slave labor. In fact she's the only English-speaker, at least among the women in the cast. The rest of the cast are Czech "actresses" (for lack of a better word), all of whom were hired for their dimensions, not their ability to emote. (Not that I can say anything better about Sable.)
The story (again, for lack of a better word) concerns a dead king, his son, his son's search for a wife, and all those potential wives being forced to be rock-mining slaves in the tiniest of outfits. They also have to submit to a lot of bodily inspections, girl-on-girl massages, and other indignities that make but a minimum of sense. That could be in part because my cat vomited on me during the film, and in the confusion I failed to hit the pause button while I (a) screamed and (b) cleaned up, but honestly I doubt it. This is a skin flick, pure and simple. It should appeal especially well to those who are really into medieval lesbians.
Then again, who isn't?
Aka Sins of the Realm.
Facts and Figures
In Theaters: Tuesday 4th November 2003
Distributed by: MTI Home Video
Contactmusic.com: 1.5 / 5
Cast & Crew
Director: Lloyd A. Simandl
Producer: Lloyd A. Simandl