Sinbad of the Seven Seas

"Terrible"

Sinbad of the Seven Seas Review


I don't know why I subject myself to these movies. Sure, there's the camp factor, the kitsch taste, the party jokes, the nostalgia, but in the end I'm not sure it's worth wasting brain cells on this tripe. Maybe I've gotten a little more cynical, maybe my interest has simply waned but right now there is nothing more painful than a bad Italian peplum.

Um, I've already slipped into geek speak. Peplum, that's the "fancy" word for "sword and sandal" flicks like Steve Reeves' 1960s Hercules films. Most of the most popular peplums (believe it or not there is (or was, it's been a while since I looked) a 'zine devoted to the study of them) involve hordes of barbarians, Romans, infidels, or nameless thugs battling lone supermen in loincloths. These are mythic tales told with shoestring budgets and dubbed. They are quite a bit of fun after a few beers but watching them sober is quite dangerous.

Sinbad of the Seven Seas is an '80s-updated peplum. Sure, it's really about Sinbad, but this ain't a Harryhausen film and it sure looks like every other cheapskate peplum dredged out of Rome in the '80s. There are no stop-motion monsters, no sophisticated heroes, just Lou Ferrigno in tight purple shorts battling men in shaggy suits. The plot is simple: Sinbad versus an evil wizard. Sinbad is played by Hulk-ster Ferrigno and Jaffar, the evil wizard, is John Steiner. (Steiner went from Marat/Sade artiness to Euro-slop like Yor, Hunter from the Future though he had a great run playing baddies in Italian crime classics.) Throw in some footage from Ferrigno's earlier Italian epic, Hercules, terrible hair, excruciating dialogue, cardboard sets and... you get the point. This thing makes Logan's Run look like Episode One. (And I actually like Logan's Run.)

Supposedly based on a short story by Poe, Sinbad of the Seven Seas is nothing short of moronic. Many '80s film fans secretly love this picture, worshipping it in darkened cellars, invoking the shade of Ed Wood. But it really doesn't deserve these accolades. Wood's work was brutally hideous but it had some independent charm. Sinbad of the Seven Seas is hackwork. Too bad, too. Director Enzo Castellari had a few engaging films, he remains the king of European Mad Max knock-offs, but he fell asleep at the wheel here.

So, why is this thing showing up on DVD (in 1:85:1 widescreen, no less!)? Why does this deserve a release when European crap fests like Treasure of the Four Crowns and The Last Shark (by Castellari) languish in obscurity? Must be the Ferrigno factor and that crazy electro soundtrack (go, Dov Seltzer, go!). If this had starred Mickey Hargitay it'd never see the light of day again.

Just say no.

Don't pick.



Facts and Figures

Run time: 93 mins

Distributed by: Cannon Home Video

Production compaines: Cannon Films

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

IMDB: 4.4 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Producer:

Starring: as Sinbad, as Jaffar, as Alì, Ennio Girolami as Viking, Hal Yamanouchi as Samurai, Stefania Girolami Goodwin as Kyra, Attilio Cesare Lo Pinto as Zombie King, Romano Puppo as Captain, Ted Rusoff as Torture Chamber Keeper (uncredited), as Narrator

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Tom of Finland Movie Review

Tom of Finland Movie Review

Finnish artist Tuoko Laaksonen used the name "Tom of Finland" as he drew explicit illustrations...

A Ghost Story Movie Review

A Ghost Story Movie Review

Filmmaker David Lowery reunites the stars from his offbeat Western Ain't Them Bodies Saints for...

Atomic Blonde Movie Review

Atomic Blonde Movie Review

From the co-director of John Wick, this similarly styled action romp puts Charlize Theron front...

Girls Trip Movie Review

Girls Trip Movie Review

This movie's premise basically sounds like The Hangover with added black girl power. But it's...

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie Movie Review

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie Movie Review

There's so much manic energy in this animated action comedy that it can't help but...

The Big Sick Movie Review

The Big Sick Movie Review

It may be rather long for a romantic comedy, but this film has such a...

The Emoji Movie Movie Review

The Emoji Movie Movie Review

There's no reason why this animated comedy adventure needed to be this pointless. Solidly entertaining...

Advertisement
England Is Mine Movie Review

England Is Mine Movie Review

While this is billed as a film about The Smiths' singer-songwriter Morrissey, it's actually an...

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Movie Review

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Movie Review

It's been 20 years since French filmmaker Luc Besson shook up the sci-fi genre with...

Dunkirk Movie Review

Dunkirk Movie Review

Britain's epic 1940 evacuation of Dunkirk has been dramatised on film before, but no one...

Killing Ground Movie Review

Killing Ground Movie Review

From Australia, this dark and edgy thriller is skilfully made by writer-director Damien Power to...

City of Ghosts Movie Review

City of Ghosts Movie Review

This award-winning documentary plays like a thriller as it traces the work of a group...

Cars 3 Movie Review

Cars 3 Movie Review

It's been six years since the last Cars movie (there were two Planes movies in...

The Beguiled Movie Review

The Beguiled Movie Review

In her inimitable loose style, Sofia Coppola remakes the 1971 Clint Eastwood movie from a...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.