Sinbad of the Seven Seas

"Terrible"

Sinbad of the Seven Seas Review


I don't know why I subject myself to these movies. Sure, there's the camp factor, the kitsch taste, the party jokes, the nostalgia, but in the end I'm not sure it's worth wasting brain cells on this tripe. Maybe I've gotten a little more cynical, maybe my interest has simply waned but right now there is nothing more painful than a bad Italian peplum.

Um, I've already slipped into geek speak. Peplum, that's the "fancy" word for "sword and sandal" flicks like Steve Reeves' 1960s Hercules films. Most of the most popular peplums (believe it or not there is (or was, it's been a while since I looked) a 'zine devoted to the study of them) involve hordes of barbarians, Romans, infidels, or nameless thugs battling lone supermen in loincloths. These are mythic tales told with shoestring budgets and dubbed. They are quite a bit of fun after a few beers but watching them sober is quite dangerous.

Sinbad of the Seven Seas is an '80s-updated peplum. Sure, it's really about Sinbad, but this ain't a Harryhausen film and it sure looks like every other cheapskate peplum dredged out of Rome in the '80s. There are no stop-motion monsters, no sophisticated heroes, just Lou Ferrigno in tight purple shorts battling men in shaggy suits. The plot is simple: Sinbad versus an evil wizard. Sinbad is played by Hulk-ster Ferrigno and Jaffar, the evil wizard, is John Steiner. (Steiner went from Marat/Sade artiness to Euro-slop like Yor, Hunter from the Future though he had a great run playing baddies in Italian crime classics.) Throw in some footage from Ferrigno's earlier Italian epic, Hercules, terrible hair, excruciating dialogue, cardboard sets and... you get the point. This thing makes Logan's Run look like Episode One. (And I actually like Logan's Run.)

Supposedly based on a short story by Poe, Sinbad of the Seven Seas is nothing short of moronic. Many '80s film fans secretly love this picture, worshipping it in darkened cellars, invoking the shade of Ed Wood. But it really doesn't deserve these accolades. Wood's work was brutally hideous but it had some independent charm. Sinbad of the Seven Seas is hackwork. Too bad, too. Director Enzo Castellari had a few engaging films, he remains the king of European Mad Max knock-offs, but he fell asleep at the wheel here.

So, why is this thing showing up on DVD (in 1:85:1 widescreen, no less!)? Why does this deserve a release when European crap fests like Treasure of the Four Crowns and The Last Shark (by Castellari) languish in obscurity? Must be the Ferrigno factor and that crazy electro soundtrack (go, Dov Seltzer, go!). If this had starred Mickey Hargitay it'd never see the light of day again.

Just say no.

Don't pick.



Facts and Figures

Run time: 93 mins

Distributed by: Cannon Home Video

Production compaines: Cannon Films

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

IMDB: 4.4 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Producer:

Starring: as Sinbad, as Jaffar, as Alì, Ennio Girolami as Viking, Hal Yamanouchi as Samurai, Stefania Girolami Goodwin as Kyra, Attilio Cesare Lo Pinto as Zombie King, Romano Puppo as Captain, Ted Rusoff as Torture Chamber Keeper (uncredited), as Narrator

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Their Finest Movie Review

Their Finest Movie Review

Skilfully written, directed and acted, this offbeat British period film tells a story that catches...

Unforgettable Movie Review

Unforgettable Movie Review

With heavy echoes of trashy thrillers like Fatal Attraction, this movie overcomes its painfully simplistic...

The Belko Experiment Movie Review

The Belko Experiment Movie Review

The kill-or-die scenario that this movie hinges on isn't something new; it's been used in...

The Fate of the Furious Movie Review

The Fate of the Furious Movie Review

With the more dumbed-down title Fast & Furious 8 outside of North America, this overcrowded...

A Quiet Passion Movie Review

A Quiet Passion Movie Review

British writer-director Terence Davies (The Deep Blue Sea) is an expert at digging beneath the...

The Sense of an Ending Movie Review

The Sense of an Ending Movie Review

Julian Barnes' Booker Prize-winning novel is adapted into a remarkably intelligent, gently involving film anchored...

The Boss Baby Movie Review

The Boss Baby Movie Review

There isn't a lot of subtlety in this madcap animated comedy, which is more aimed...

Advertisement
City of Tiny Lights Movie Review

City of Tiny Lights Movie Review

After the latest incarnation of Dredd, director Pete Travis shifts gears drastically for this complex...

Going in Style Movie Review

Going in Style Movie Review

This is only technically a remake of the iconic 1979 film starring movie icons George...

Graduation Movie Review

Graduation Movie Review

Romanian filmmaker Cristian Mungiu (4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days) recounts another staggeringly detailed...

Ghost in the Shell Movie Review

Ghost in the Shell Movie Review

This sci-fi thriller is so visually stunning that it deserves to be mentioned in the...

Free Fire Movie Review

Free Fire Movie Review

Basically a 90-minute shoot-out, there isn't a lot to this movie. British filmmaker Ben Wheatley...

Life Movie Review

Life Movie Review

Like a mash-up of Alien and Gravity, this ripping sci-fi horror movie is very effective...

The Lost City of Z Movie Review

The Lost City of Z Movie Review

Based on a true story, it's the historical aspect of these events that holds the...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.