By Christopher Null
Fun fact here: Ritual was meant to be the third film in the Tales from the Crypt movie series, but after Bordello of Blood bombed, the trilogy was scrapped and the film was sold to Miramax. I'm not sure it ever got released theatrically, but five years later, it's back on DVD... with the Tales from the Crypt tag reinstated.
And thus the trilogy comes to a sweaty, silly end, with this remake of, believe it or not, 1943's I Walked with a Zombie. Here we have Jennifer Grey, still sporting the same hairdo from Ferris Bueller after all these years, as a disgraced medical doctor who, out of desperation, takes a job in Jamaica as a personal physician to a wealthy tycoon (Craig Sheffer) and his mysteriously sickly brother (Daniel Lapaine). What follows is -- you guessed it -- a ridiculous swirl into the world of voodoo done up the way only Hollywood can.
What follows is a voodoo-vs.-medicine story, as Grey's doc assumes the brother has a rare seizure-inducing illness, then eventually comes around to believe he really may be a zombie. Meanwhile, she gets caught up in Jamaican mysticism, culminating in one of the most unintentionally absurd scenes in movie history, as Grey performs a sweaty voodoo dance in a church kind of place, shaking herself silly until nearly passing out. It's so ridiculous it's worth the price of a rental alone.
As for the rest of the movie, you needn't bother unless you're a rabid fan of the Dirty Dancer. Because it seems that even with the power of the dead, no one can put Baby in the corner.
Aka Tales from the Crypt Presents Ritual.
Facts and Figures
In Theaters: Thursday 26th April 2012
Distributed by: Screen Media Films
Contactmusic.com: 2.5 / 5
Cast & Crew
Starring: Derek Phillips as Mr. Man, Brian Lally as Roman, Dean Cates as Tom, Lisa Marie Summerscales as Lovely