My Bloody Valentine 3-D

"Good"

My Bloody Valentine 3-D Review


When slasher films dominated the local theater chains way back in the '80s, holidays seemed to be the sensible starting place to develop your fear franchise. Halloween had proven profitable, and Friday the 13th definitely scared up big bucks. So why not milk the rest of the festival calendar and see what transpires? Sadly, for every April Fool's Day, there was a Happy Birthday to Me.

For a long time, a cult has centered around one of the era's most talked about titles: My Bloody Valentine. With most of its violence cut out and a "blue collar" perspective on the carnage, it remains for many a good time guilty pleasure. Now Lionsgate has seen fit to remake the movie, using an old '50s gimmick as a selling point -- and you know what, it works like a blood-spattered charm.

The setup is familiar. Ten years ago, the only survivor of a horrible mining accident -- a man named Harry Warden -- went on an inhuman killing spree. When it was all over, 22 people were dead, with only good friends Alex (Kerr Smith), Sarah (Jaime King), Irene (Betsy Rue), and Tom (Jensen Ackles) left to tell the tale. Now, bodies are piling up once again, and ex-sheriff Burke (Tom Atkins) and local businessman Ben Foley (Kevin Tighe) think that Warden has returned. But Axel, now the current lawman, has a different theory. He's targeting Tom, recently returned from nearly a decade in self-imposed exile and desperate to sell the mine and having rekindled his romance with Sarah, who oddly enough, is married to his old buddy. Still, the visage of Warden looms large.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D is shameless. It panders. It exploits. It hits below the belt and keeps delivering cheap shots deliciously. It is one of the most blatantly gore-filled fright films in recent memory, starting off insane and just getting nastier from there. A lot of credit has to go to writers Todd Farmer and Zane Smith, as well as director Patrick Lussier. They have remained faithful to the 1981 original while recognizing the need to update the entire slasher genre for a 2009 audience. This isn't some film filled with stunt-inspired, Rube Goldbergian deaths. Instead, our killer metes out punishment with a pick axe and nothing else. But the brutality of his efforts, matched by the amazingly graphic special effects, excuses any lapse in slice and dice mythos.

This is a craven crowd pleaser, the kind of old school scarefest that should have teens tweaking in their seats while shouting back at the screen. Lussier and the gang leave nothing to chance. One sequence features a good five minutes of nearly continuous full frontal female nudity, including the standard slayer square off and butchering. Another finds Atkins wandering through a collection of hacked up corpses, offal strewn everywhere. And just when it looks like things will calm down and the script will focus on characterization and formulaic love triangles, our gas-masked fiend shows up and starts swinging again. This version of My Bloody Valentine must have the highest body count of any recent fright film -- maybe ever.

The 3-D also helps. The feeling of depth, plus the lack of restraint employed in using the dimensional device, really adds to the excitement. We don't get too many of the obvious Dr. Tongue moments, and the effect aids in giving the inevitable false shocks added emphasis. Still, Lussier knows what gets butts in theater seats and there is sure to be some buzz about the ample arterial spray on display. My Bloody Valentine 3-D actually rivals several of the Saw films in the amount of vein juice spilled in pursuit of a plotline -- and it's infinitely more fun. All remakes should follow this unapologetically in-your-face effort.

Aka My Bloody Valentine 3D.

Thank God it's not Arbor Day.



Facts and Figures

Box Office Worldwide: $59.2M

Budget: $15M

Production compaines: Lionsgate

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 3.5 / 5

Cast & Crew

Director:

Producer: , Andre Link, Jack L. Murray, , John Sacchi

Starring: as Tom Hanniger, as Sarah Palmer, as Axel Palmer, Betsy Rue as Irene, as Deputy Martin, as Sheriff Jim Burke, as Ben Foley, as Megan, Karen Baum as Deputy Ferris, Joy de la Paz as Rosa, as Riggs, as Frank the Trucker, Jeff Hochendoner as Red, Bingo O'Malley as Officer Hinch, Liam Rhodes as Michael, Richard John Walters as Harry Warden

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Zoolander 2 Movie Review

Zoolander 2 Movie Review

With virtually the same blend of wit and idiocy as the 2001 original, this fashion-scene...

A Bigger Splash Movie Review

A Bigger Splash Movie Review

Italian filmmaker Luca Guadagnino (I Am Love) reteams with Tilda Swinton for this fresh, tricky...

Deadpool Movie Review

Deadpool Movie Review

Both the filmmakers and the characters on-screen are so pleased with themselves that this might...

Trumbo Movie Review

Trumbo Movie Review

An entertaining film about sobering true events, this is the story of notorious screenwriter Dalton...

Goosebumps Movie Review

Goosebumps Movie Review

Mixing the action, comedy and horror from novelist R.L. Stein's books into a family-friendly package,...

Dad's Army Movie Review

Dad's Army Movie Review

The beloved 1970s British sit-com gets the big screen treatment, although there's been very little...

Spotlight Movie Review

Spotlight Movie Review

This film demonstrates that you don't need guns to make an exciting thriller. Based on...

Advertisement
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi Movie Review

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi Movie Review

Not the subtlest director working in Hollywood, Michael Bay brings his surging machismo to this...

Dirty Grandpa Movie Review

Dirty Grandpa Movie Review

There's nothing clever about this deliberately rude and vulgar comedy, but certain audiences will find...

The Big Short Movie Review

The Big Short Movie Review

Smart and snappy, this comedy is one of the scariest films of the year, using...

The 5th Wave Movie Review

The 5th Wave Movie Review

Also based on the first in a trilogy of post-apocalyptic teen novels, this thriller feels...

Ride Along 2 Movie Review

Ride Along 2 Movie Review

Ice Cube and Kevin Hart reteam for a sequel no one really asked for, following...

Room Movie Review

Room Movie Review

One of the most extraordinary films of the year, this drama cleverly weaves in events...

Creed Movie Review

Creed Movie Review

While this film is basically Rocky VII, it's also much more than that, and perhaps...

A Perfect Day Movie Review

A Perfect Day Movie Review

An irreverent comedy in the style of the original M.A.S.H., this wartime romp takes an...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.